People think Taylor Swift got carried out of her apartment in a suitcase
And if she did, would she really let the news leak out to the tabloids?
People sure seem to think so.
Today, Splash News published a photo of a two grown men carrying a large suitcase in the direction of a car.
This in it of itself is not entirely remarkable. Grown men carry things all the time. But as Spin 1038 noticed, the caption Splash News used for the photo suggests there’s more going on than meets the eye. It reads:
“Taylor Swift being transported in a huge suitcase from her Tribecca apartment. A fleet of cars including two large Cadillacs and three SUV’s arrive at Tailor Swift’s — misspelling theirs — apartment in Tribecca to move a large suitcase from apartment to truck. Almost a dozen of Taylor Swift security guards were present to move this package carefully as Taylor Swift remains to be unseen for a long time.”
— SPIN 1038 (@spin1038) July 17, 2017
Now, the rational part of me knows there had to be some mistake here.
For one, Taylor Swift is very tall. And her legs are ensured for millions of dollars. $40 million to be exact. If she really wanted to be transported to a car via suitcase, don’t you think she would have chosen a roomier one?
And again, if she did in fact want to be carried in a suitcase, don’t you think she would have kept it a secret?
See, celebrities being transported in suitcases is not an unheard of phenomenon.
In Kevin Dickson and Jack Ketsoyan’s book “Blind Item,” a fictionalized novel made up of stories that actually happened to celebrities, there’s an example of a suitcase exit strategy taking place. An A-list celebrity takes a girl out on a date that’s supposed to be a secret, and after the paparazzi finds them, they make the journey back in shipping crates, so nobody will be able to tell it’s them.
When celebrities let themselves get transported in large boxes, it’s because they desperately want their secrecy.
So why would Taylor spill the beans?
Because it would make her seem quirky?
Twitter is having a fun day making jokes about it.
Cute pic of Tom Hiddleston adn Taylor Swift when they were together pic.twitter.com/xtrpQkJGO9
— lauren yap (@itslaurenyap) July 17, 2017
Taylor Swift: So my ex Harry Styles is in town/maybe in my neighborhood but I really need to leave the house.
Security: Say no more, fam. pic.twitter.com/qXYOVNQth1
— Alyssa Vingan Klein (@alyssavingan) July 17, 2017
Me: I’m so over celebrity gossip
Twitter: Taylor Swift was spotted being carried out of her house in a suitcase
— Cᴏɴᴏʀ Aʀᴘᴡᴇʟ🌹 (@Arpwel) July 17, 2017
But are they laughing at Taylor or with Taylor?
My money’s on at.
But then again who cares, because that’s probably not what happened in the first place anyway.
If whoever wrote the caption didn’t notice that they misspelled Taylor’s name before posting it, there’s a good chance that they didn’t mean to say Taylor Swift was being transported in a suitcase.
Then again, maybe I’m wrong.
Anything is possible. Even Taylor Swift getting carried around town in a box.
Update: Splash News takes it all back!
“I literally just put down the phone with someone on Taylor’s camp,” a Splash representative said when contacted by SPIN. “We’re having to actually retract that.”
The Splash representative went on to say that whoever took the photo was, “not really a regular photographer that we use.”
Citing a fan theory from earlier this year that Taylor was reportedly leaving her apartment in a giant box, the Splash representative suggested that when their photographer saw two large men carrying a large box out of Taylor’s apartment, the photographer just assumed that was what happened.
Happens to the best of us, dude. Just you know, not usually on stages this large.