How To Talk Dirty In German
What is it about a dude in lederhosen that’s so hot? Maybe it’s not the lederhosen, maybe it’s just the mug of beer and huge pretzel he’s holding in his hand? Either way, there’s no better way to impress your new German bae than by being able to hold a conversation via Whatsapp. Try one of these phrases on for size and see how big your man’s weinerschnitzel gets.
1. Ich liebe deinen Schwanz
Translation: I love your dong
What guy doesn’t want to hear this? Honestly. If a guy meets any girl who loves his dick almost as much as he loves it, I’m pretty sure he’ll be stoked.
2. Fick mich härter
Translation: (You know what) me harder
To be honest I imagine a German guy being pretty rough in bed, but what do I know? Sometimes, you need to tell your hunk of German man that he’s not giving it to you hard enough, right?
3. Nimm mich von hinten
Translation: Take me from behind
This almost sounds like something you’d read in a romance novel (50 Shades of Grey anyone?), but still deviously naughty enough.
4. Deine Titten sind riesig
Translation: Your boobs are huge
Because we don’t all want to hook up with a dude in lederhosen, some of us have a crush on the beer girl.
5. Du machst mich so geil
Translation: You turn me on
Yes, girls get turned on too. And considering guys think that they’re the ones who are turned on all the time, maybe it’s time to give a reality check.
6. Leck meine muschi
Translation: Lick my (you know what)
Because we’re above pulling the whole “casually pushing our partner’s head down” thing, but we’re not above needing some oral once in a while (or all the time).