Is your significant other, booty call, or friend with benefits failing you orally? Share this with them. Because, whoever it is you’re having sex with, they need to know.
Let’s start things off with the basics…
Actually look at what you are doing for the love of God.
There have been times when I’ve felt like my partner is just way off target or blindly going at it. This is the most frustrating and ridiculous thing I have experienced with partners and sadly, it happens more often than I’d like (which is never). Someone will be going down on me but instead of focusing on places like, I don’t know, the clitoris? They decide to just go at your inner thigh, and not in a fun “I’m working you up to the main event” type of way. Once you have actually done some observing and have oriented yourself, make sure you…
Alternate your movement patterns!
Doing the same thing over and over again is so boring. Try alternating between zig zagging lines with your tongue and moving in a circle from clitoris to the lips, and back to the clitoris. Maybe even try some fun shapes just eating me out the way a dog laps up water.
Make sure you use the flat side of your tongue.
Poking at me with the tip of your tongue is not going to get either of us anywhere. Get in there with the flat side of your tongue, there’s more surface area able to touch, and thus, more sensation. Speaking of more sensation, remember that you can always…
Use your hands.
Yes you can do both at the same damn time, I promise. If you’re mouth is busy playing with the clitoris, try fingering simultaneously. If you’re focusing on the lips, try using your hands to stimulate the clitoris. Multiple sensations all at once will increase stimulation and help us to reach orgasm. But, do make sure that you’re using your hands carefully and with thought. Nobody likes having fingers jammed haphazardly up their vagina (it’s a shame that I even have to make this clarification). And last but not least,
Enjoy yourself, please.
Nothing is more unappealing than someone who is reluctant or unenthusiastic about the prospect of going down on a lady. If you don’t want to do it, politely decline. But if you are going to do it, don’t make us feel like you’re doing us a favor. Since most women don’t get off from penetration alone, this is likely you’re only shot at delivering us an orgasm.
About The Author:
Victoria graduated from Barnard College at Columbia University where she earned her B.A. in Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. She spends way too much time contemplating the intersection of Drake and post colonial theory and way too much money on pina coladas. You can follow her on Instagram @marxistbeyonce.
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