An 8-Step Checklist For Picking The Perfect Summer Bae
Whether you’re 16 or 26, summer love is a real thing. Everybody wants a sexy summer boo to take a beach trip with or to simply get sweaty with.
That being said, summer love should probably be called summer lust. It’s short, sweet, and usually fizzles out by the time September rolls around. Because of that, it’s totally cool to be shallow af when deciding who’s going to be your Mr. Right Now for the summer.
1. Does He Have a Beach Bod?
While it’s totally okay to snuggle up with a dad bod in the winter while watching Netflix, you want a guy who looks as great on the beach as you do. Abs? Check. Pecs? Check. Biceps? Check. Watch out for dudes that skip leg day, but beggars can’t be choosers.
2. Does He Have a Beach House?
Money isn’t everything, but having a beach house (or parents with a beach house) is never a bad thing. Who wants to be stuck in the sweltering hot city in the summer when you could be in the Hamptons cooling off with a martini by the pool? What would Blair Waldorf do?
3. Does He Have AC?
Okay, realistically not every dude can have a summer home, but they can at least have air conditioning. I’ll never forget the spring when I dated a dude who didn’t have AC in his shitty college apartment. It was one of the few times I actually preferred to sleep in my shared dorm room. Sex should be sweaty enough without having to rely on a ceiling fan to cool down.
Unless you’re in Europe, then it’s totally cool.
4. Does He Like To Adventure?
You have the power to make your summer rock, or make it suck major balls. If you date a local lifeguard who wants to hang at the county pool all day and night, you can do better. While only your sugar daddy is going to fly you to Dubai, you can definitely find a chill dude who’s down to go hiking, take beach trips, and explore your city with you while the weather is warm.
5. Does He Have The Right Summer Wardrobe?
Dudes in flip flops are honestly disgusting, but a dude can get a free pass if he’s actually at the beach. If he’s picking you up at the bar with Rainbows on? GTFO right now. Other faux pas include cargo shorts, anything Abercrombie/Hollister, or anything that says “surf team” or “lifeguard” when he’s not actually either of those things. Also, hemp necklaces are only acceptable if he actually surfs. And shorts are a problem if he’s not at the beach, too. Honestly, tell your man to stick to the jeans/pants all summer, I don’t care if he’s too sweaty, you suffer for beauty too sometimes.
6. Does He Love The Way You Look In Your Bikini?
Do you have a bikini body? If you own a bikini and you own a body, you do. Your man better appreciate how god damn sexy you look in your swimsuit. If he doesn’t, tell him “boy, bye!” Seriously, it’s cool if a guy is all #fitfam and wants to work out together, but once he starts telling you that you need to lose weight from your hips or cut down on the ice cream, it’s time to find a new summer boo.
7. Is He Old Enough… To Party?
Being a cougar is fun and trendy and all, but summer is not the time to date a dude who can’t get into the bars. If you’re over 21, it’s not going to be fun hooking up with a dude who can’t accompany you on your nights out, not to mention that you’ll be the one buying alcohol for him. If you’re under 21, it’s not a bad idea to date a dude who’s older, but don’t be upset if he ditches you for the beach bars with his friends while you stay at home trying to find a fake ID to order online.
8. Is He Fun?
The whole point of a summer fling is that it’s short and sweet and always a good time. Save the drama and relationship fights for your next serious boyfriend. Summer is the time to go with the flow and have a good time. If your beachy bae starts getting jealous or crazy, move on to the next fish in the sea (or ocean, depending on your location).
