Science Confirms Love At First Sight Is Total BS
Have you ever really fallen in love at first sight?
I want you to think long and hard about this one. I mean, WTF does “love at first sight” even mean? That you lock eyes and are engaged the next day? That you have one of those creepy relationships where you have one date and then are suddenly inseperable and you ditch all your other friends?
Whatever it is, if you know someone who claims her and her bae fell in love at first sight, she’s lying. Because it’s not that you “magically” fall in love with someone after deciding that they’re hot, it’s that you decide you want something to happen, so you make it happen.
From NY Mag:
“People generally think that they’re pretty good at forming first impressions and that their gut feeling is right somehow,” says Michael Sunnafrank, a communications professor at the University of Minnesota, Duluth, who studies relationships. But “I don’t think they’re accurate in predicting, ‘This is going to be a good relationship for me.’ They make it a good relationship.”
So LOL, joke’s on you. You may think that fate brought you two together, but your own damn brain – and effort – did. You drunkenly spotted a hot dude in an Arctic Monkeys shirt across the bar, and you said to your drunk self “that’s going to be my next boyfriend.” And lo and behold, after a couple drunk makeouts, a “what are we” talk, and a brunch date, you are boyfriend and girlfriend! Call it love at first sight, but I call it a drunk girl who knows what she wants.
“What’s really happening here is a self-fulfilling prophecy,” Sunnafrank said to NY Mag. “If you expect [the relationship] not to develop, you’re going to make it not develop. If you expect that it’s going to be positive, you’re more likely to act positively and make it turn in that direction.”
The moral of the story? Don’t chalk up anything – whether it be your relationships or your career path– to fate, because you definitely put some work in to get what you want, even if you don’t realize you’re putting in work right away.
Also, stop buying into bullshit phrases coined in the era of rom-coms. Write your own love story, even if it’s with yourself.