Rob & Chynaâ€™s Show Premiered Last Night
Maybe the show would answer all our unsolved questions about Robâ€™s classy neck tattoo or offer up some hidden pearls of wisdom about how Chyna went from being a stripper Drake name dropped in a song to a burgeoning household name.
But after months of waiting, we can now say with total confidence that Rob & Chyna is a shit show.
In the course of one episode Rob & Chyna, the stars:
#1: announced the sex of their baby on television, pretending like the rest of the world cared
#2: continued to plant seeds that Rob is texting bitches behind Chynaâ€™s back, even though he has a face that only Chyna could love
#3: got into a tiff because Rob couldnâ€™t hide his disappointment that they were having a girl instead of a boy
#4: got so mad at each other that Chyna kicked Rob out of the house, an act which weâ€™re led to believe has happened numerous times by this point
#5: were forced to have one on one talks with Kris to try and straighten out their childish behavior
Itâ€™s only episode one and Rob & Chyna are already scraping the bottom of the barrel clean for content.
And from the look of the Season 1 teaser trailer, that barrel scraping wonâ€™t stop here.
In the future we have numerous plot points to look forward to, including Chyna telling her personal trainer she’s thinking about getting a paternity test because the thought of Rob Kardsahian being the father of her children is too unbearable to contemplate, watching Rob & Chyna call each other pyshos in a totally not staged car fight, and sitting on pins and needles asÂ Chyna put a ball gag in Robâ€™s mouth and proves to the world how kinky they are in the bedroom.
Please, make it stop already, E!
Weâ€™ll still keep up with all the Kardashians, just not Rob, kay?