Rob & Chyna’s Show Premiered Last Night
We had a feeling Rob & Chyna was going to be bad from the second E! decided to call it a “docuseries” instead of a reality show, but until last night, we weren’t actually sure.
Maybe the show would answer all our unsolved questions about Rob’s classy neck tattoo or offer up some hidden pearls of wisdom about how Chyna went from being a stripper Drake name dropped in a song to a burgeoning household name.
But after months of waiting, we can now say with total confidence that Rob & Chyna is a shit show.
In the course of one episode Rob & Chyna, the stars:
#1: announced the sex of their baby on television, pretending like the rest of the world cared
#2: continued to plant seeds that Rob is texting bitches behind Chyna’s back, even though he has a face that only Chyna could love
#3: got into a tiff because Rob couldn’t hide his disappointment that they were having a girl instead of a boy
#4: got so mad at each other that Chyna kicked Rob out of the house, an act which we’re led to believe has happened numerous times by this point
#5: were forced to have one on one talks with Kris to try and straighten out their childish behavior
It’s only episode one and Rob & Chyna are already scraping the bottom of the barrel clean for content.
And from the look of the Season 1 teaser trailer, that barrel scraping won’t stop here.
In the future we have numerous plot points to look forward to, including Chyna telling her personal trainer she’s thinking about getting a paternity test because the thought of Rob Kardsahian being the father of her children is too unbearable to contemplate, watching Rob & Chyna call each other pyshos in a totally not staged car fight, and sitting on pins and needles as Chyna put a ball gag in Rob’s mouth and proves to the world how kinky they are in the bedroom.
Please, make it stop already, E!
We’ll still keep up with all the Kardashians, just not Rob, kay?
