Justin Bieber Is Openly Rooting For the Bachelorette’s Biggest F*ckboy
Over the weekend, I found out three very important things about Justin Bieber:
He watches the Bachelorette.
He’s even worse about staying caught up than I am.
He thinks Chad, this season’s #1 fuckboy, is hilarious.
Honestly, this makes total sense to me seeing as Justin Bieber is also a fuckboy, albeit one who would be less likely to piss everyone off by threatening to beat them up and more likely to pee in their suitcases late at night for reasons we’ll never be sure about.
In case you’re not
wasting spending an hour of your life every week reveling in the inane, trivial glory that is The Bachelorette, here’s all you need to know about Chad:
He’s a cocky meathead whose favorite romantic move consists of negging, which is when a guy tries to win you over by insulting you.
In Chad’s case, this means that when he’s supposed to be doing things like fake proposing to the Bachelorette on a fake football field (which is in and of itself one of the most bizarre first dates you could ever be forced to go on), instead of telling her all the things he “loves” about her, Chad replies with, “You need me to tell you all the things I love about you? Starting off a little naggy here.”
Sadly, just like most fuckboys in the wild, Justin Bieber included, these tactics actually worked out for Chad for a few weeks before the Bachelorette ultimately decided that she just didn’t have any time for fuckboys in her chaotic dating life and sent him packing.
This was the episode Justin Bieber was watching on Sunday evening.
That night the Biebs posted a clip on Instagram of an earlier part of the episode when Chad is trying to diffuse a fight with a serially confrontational marine with a height inferiority complex named Alex by suggesting that homeboy go drink a glass of milk.
When the insecure Marine replies, “No. Don’t like milk. Don’t need anything,” Chad fires back with, “Well you should, milk’s delicious.”
Chad can barely keep from laughing over the hilarious zinger that just came out of his mouth, and neither can Justin.
It’s also worth nothing that Chad’s only friend in the house was a much smaller Canadian fuckboy named Daniel, a similarity that could not have been lost on the Biebs.
Fuckboys gotta stick together, you feel?