These Instagram-Friendly Foods Aren’t Worth It IRL
Some people do it for the ‘gram, and others eat it for the ‘gram. Or, they don’t actually eat it, they take a picture of it and then give it to their friend because they’re on a crazy diet.
Just like ridiculous street style and over-the-top highlighter, certain things look better on Instagram than they do IRL, and food is no exception.
In fact, some of the Insta-famous foods that you see on your timeline constantly are not quite as tasty as they look with a filter. Just like your momma taught you, you can’t always judge a book — or a bagel — by its cover.
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1. Açaí Bowls
There’s a reason why healthy food is never the most popular food porn, because it simply doesn’t look as delicious. Açaí bowls were the exception for a hot sec. They look way too colorful and fun in photos to be healthy, and in reality, they’re not healthy.
Sure, it’s not a corndog or a heavily fried bacon tower, but one bowl can pack 60 grams of sugar, and that’s before toppings. If you’re craving something sweet with toppings, might as well go all-in and have an ice cream sundae instead of settling for something half-as-good that’s also not healthy.
2. Reinvented Sushi
First we had the sushi burrito, then we had the sushi taco, now we have the sushi donut. They sound great for marketing purposes, but not so great on your tastebuds. There’s a reason why people have been making sushi in tiny rolls for thousands of years, after all.
The sushi burrito leaves you wanting more fish, the donut makes you wishing it wasn’t so rice heavy, and the taco just looks like a mess. Why mess with something that’s already deliciously perfect? If you’re craving sushi and care more about feeling satisfied than getting lots of Instagram likes, forget the new-fangled shapes and stick to regular ‘ol sushi rolls.
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3. Overloaded Milkshakes
The popularity of Black Tap-esque shakes made every restaurant try to hop on the ridiculous milkshake train.
Sure, milkshakes are great, and so are cookies and candy and bacon and whatever else people are sticking in them these days. But in reality, these milkshakes are kind of basic, and not something you can realistically eat in one sitting unless you’re high af.
Trust me, I have a huge appetite and was just fine splitting one with my two roomies. Also, you could just make one yourself really easily?
4. Rainbow Bagels
If you’ve never had a rainbow bagel before, I’ll let you in on a little secret: they taste exactly the same as regular bagels because the color is just from food dye. Also, you won’t magically turn into a Tumblr mermaid unicorn after eating one. Sorry, just get a donut!
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5. Rolled Ice Cream
Ice Queen. If I had to rate, 2/5. For a novelty product, hella cool place. But instead of having a Subway or a Marble Slab type layout where you pay at the end, you have to pay upfront. Now this is time consuming as most people don’t know what the hell Thai ice cream is and my party ended up asking a LOT of questions. You choose the toppings (not a large selection to choose from though) before you see them. The menu is written on a chalkboard, with very little descriptions. It was extremely fun to watch being made. The ice cream was great, but I wish there were sizes to choose from. I have a small sweet tooth, and I would have loved only 2 or 3 of the rolls. As well as the toppings, there was way too much ice cream in relation to the small amount of toppings given. I’ll go again once they’ve been open a while to see if maybe they change things around once the phenomenon dies away a bit but for now, it’s a no from me.
Like sushi burritos, rolled ice cream is just a new way to serve an age-old classic. Rolled ice cream doesn’t taste any better than regular ice cream, I’d argue it actually tastes worse, because it’s harder to get all the goodness into one bite. Like with açaí bowls and over-the-top milkshakes, the toppings are cool, but the ice cream itself is kind of hard, icy, and basic.
Sure, frosé can come in clutch on a hot af day, but so can a Slurpee. I know, I know, you’re probably thinking to yourself, “but Slurpees don’t have alcohol!” Well, hate to break it to you, but your frose probably doesn’t have that much alcohol either. Even if it does, it’s going to take you way longer to drink, and therefore way longer to get drunk. Skip the frozen wine and stick to regular wine if you’re trying to get turnt.