Ranking the Things Men Are Saying About Women in Popular Songs Right Now
When it comes to pop music, women don’t always get depicted in the best light. Then again, sometimes they do. It’s pretty much always up in the air how things are gonna go for us.
Since right now men are dominating the Billboard charts, iTunes charts, etc., I decided to make a list ranking everything men are saying about women in their songs right now, from “aw bae” to “ew go away.” Here they are, ranked from best to worst.
1. “Exchange” // Bryson Tiller
“Saw you strollin’ through the campus, I had to stop for you / I was scrollin’ through the ‘gram, girl, I had to follow you / say what’s up with you? You got my soul.”
Poetry.
2. “Oui” // Jeremih
“If we / tried that we could be / somewhere the climate / is warm, long as you around me / I swear that everything will be just fine”
Sometimes it’s the simplest declarations that seem the most heartfelt.
3. “Close” // Nick Jonas
“Cause if I want you, then I want you, babe / ain’t going backwards, won’t ask for space / cause space was just a word made up by someone who’s afraid to get too close”
OMG, a man who’s not afraid of commitment and also sexy as hell? Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
4. “Exchange” // Bryson Tiller
“Maybe I’m lowkey feelin’ you, don’t be cynical / won’t f*ck you over, wanna f*ck you over and again.”
Again, this sounds like poetry to me. Bryson Tiller might just be my dream man.
5. “Pillowtalk” // ZAYN
“I love to hold you close, tonight and always / I love to wake up next to you”
Don’t you love it when men are into snuggly sleepovers?
6. “Work” // Drake
“If you had a twin I would still choose you”
That means a lot, Drake. It really does.
7. “Cake By The Ocean // DNCE”
“Talk to me baby / I’m going blind from this sweet sweet craving, whoa-oh / Let’s lose our minds and go fucking crazy / ah ya ya ya ya I keep on hoping we’ll eat cake by the ocean”
Whether he actually means eating cake by the ocean or eating your p*ssy by the ocean, this guy is a keeper, or lowkey crazy, but hey, that’s what a first date is for.
8. “One Call Away” // Charlie Puth
“I’m only one call away / I’ll be there to save the day / Superman got nothing on me / I’m only one call away.”
Sweet. Kind of clingy, but sweet.
9. “Don’t Let Me Down” // Bryson Tiller
“Got good pussy girl, can I be frank?”
Why yes, yes you can. Thx for not wasting any of my time, boo.
10. “My House” // Flo Rida
“Welcome to my duck off the crib, the spot, the bad / but my house is your house if you throwin’ it back”
Wow, what an almost nice thing to say.
11. “Freestyle 4” // Kanye West
“You in my freak dreams / bad bitch, you dig that / get stacks, bitch out / tits out, oh shit / my dick out, can she suck it right now?”
At least he’s asking. And hey, he sounds kind of fun.
12. “Down in the DM” // Yo Gotti
“I tell her / Snapchat me that pussy… mood / or Facetime me that pussy if it’s… cool”
It’s not, but whatever, you’re kind of funny… sort of.
13. “Work From Home” // Ty Dolla $ign
“Oh, she the bae, I’m her boo / And she down to break the rules / Ride or die, she gon‘ go / I won’t just, she finessin‘ / I pipe her, she take that / put in overtime on your body”
You had me until you said “I pipe her.”
14. “Love Yourself” // Justin Bieber
“My mama don’t like you and she likes everyone.”
Rude.
15. “Panda” // Desiigner
“I got broads in Atlanta / twisting dope, lean, and the Fanta.”
Please don’t tell me about all the drugs you and your broads in Atlanta do okay, man? So not cute.
16. “Let It Go” // James Bay
“Tryna fit your hand inside of mine / when we know it just don’t belong / there’s no force on earth / could make it feel right”
Well damn, why you even talking to me for? Men, am I right?
17. “Pop Style” // Drake
“Girl let me rock, rock, rock, rock, rock your body / Justin Timberlake and then I hit the highway”
lol because when has saying you want to hit it and quit it ever scored you points with a girl?
18. “Work From Home” // Ty Dolla $ign
“Oh yeah, girl go to work for me / can you make it clap, no hands for me? / Take it to the ground, pick it up for me.”
Hard pass.
19. “Low Life” // The Weeknd
“Girl go ahead and show me how you get down / And I feel my whole body peaking / And I’m fucking anybody with they legs wide”
Aaaaand that’s my cue to leave. It’s been nice knowing you, dude. Got any herb for the road?
