Boys Ruined Everything at Last Night’s VMAs
Last night’s VMAs proved that girls are killing it in the music industry — to the point where dudes might just want to stop trying for a little while.
The 2016 Video Music Awards started and ended with cool, confident performances from Rihanna. In between, we were also treated to live music from Beyoncé, Britney Spears (well, kind of live…), Ariana Grande, Nicki Minaj, and Halsey.
And when these boss bitches weren’t performing, they were either being introduced by other HBICs like Naomi Campbell, Serena Williams, and Kim Kardashian — or we were waiting for an aging bro to stop talking so we could get to the next performance.
See, guys pretty much destroyed every second of airtime MTV granted them last night.
The cringeworthy jokes started when Key & Peele did a tired parody of social media stardom that included them yelling things like, “TWEET THAT! THAT’S A TWEET!” Instead of hiring actual influencers to cover the VMAs, MTV hired two guys in their 30s to make fun of anyone who has a career on social media. Talk about old-fashioned. This routine went on and on and on and all it proved is that Key & Peele are totally out of touch when it comes to understanding the point of technology.
— Angi Taylor (@AngiTaylorKISS) August 29, 2016
key and peele: MEME!
— NASTY BOY (@666waluigi) August 29, 2016
Jay Pharoah, who was recently booted from SNL, also looked woefully out of touch and unfunny. He did a confusing impression of Jay Z standing in a bathroom line, where all he did was make fun of Jay Z’s age. But he must not have gotten the memo that Jay Z didn’t even attend — possibly because he feels he’s aged out of the VMAs.
So who’s the stale one here: the guy who sits the VMAs out because he DGAF, or the one who tries to gain relevance by mocking him?
so they got Jay Pharoah off SNL and we STILL have to sit thru that insufferable Jay Z impression on another network? 🙄 #VMAs
— vulvasaur (@lilpimpsocks) August 29, 2016
Jay Pharoah also ruffled some feathers when he mocked DJ Khaled, another co-host. Jay went off on Khaled for reusing the same catch phrases on Snapchat over and over, which was ironic considering how long Jay’s been trotting out his Hova impression. At least DJ Khaled was positive and upbeat and kept his energy up throughout the broadcast. He was one of the only dudes who made the show more entertaining instead of less.
Errr, what exactly was that between DJ Khaled and Jay Pharoah? 👀 #VMAs2016
— Piya Sinha-Roy (@PiyaSRoy) August 29, 2016
Jimmy Fallon also gave it the old college try, with his impression of Ryan Lochte. It was predictable and felt about a week and a half too late. Well, to everyone except Michael Phelps.
Michael Phelps goes “OH MY GOD” when Jimmy Fallon came out as Ryan Lochte pic.twitter.com/nwGqTGr8hZ
— #1 Rachel ✨ (@rachel) August 29, 2016
The only guys who didn’t embarrass themselves were Kanye West and Drake — and maybe that’s because they both ceded their spotlight to female performers.
Instead of performing live, Kanye debuted a video in which Teyana Taylor stole the show. And Drake won the hearts of the entire audience by gushing over how much he loves Rihanna.
Chainsmokers and G-Eazy were some of the only male performers, and the women they shared the stage with — Halsey and Britney Spears, respectively — easily stole the spotlight.
The best thing about this year’s VMA broadcast was that it didn’t dissolve into a pointless beef-fest like last year’s. Remember how tedious that fight between Miley Cyrus and Nicki Minaj felt? Ugh. And because of this lack of drama, more attention was paid to spectacular performances by some of the biggest women in music.
But that doesn’t mean the non-performance parts of the show had to be so boring. Next year, MTV might want to let funny, interesting women take over hosting duties as well as performances. Because if anything, MTV needs to boost new talent and show us the next big thing — and guys like Key & Peele, Jimmy Fallon, and Jay Pharoah just aren’t that.
And hey, maybe if they bring in some hilarious female hosts next time around, like Amy Schumer or the girls of Broad City or even someone new, most A-listers won’t skip out like they did this year.