11 People Reveal How Their Parents Found Out They Were Having Sex
If you’re an adult and your parents still don’t technically know that you’re having sex, bravo. If your parents were super cool about sex when you were younger and got you the pill with no questions asked, that’s dope too.
Unfortunately, not all of us were such smooth teenagers or had such chill parents. From being walked in on, to opening up a box full of condoms on your sixteenth birthday, the situations described in these stories, culled from real life and Reddit, will make you cringe, laugh, and thank heavens that this didn’t happen to you.
1. Yes Daddy
“My dad found a box of condoms in my purse when I was 16 and told me he was going to poke holes in them so that way I learn my lesson about pre-marital sex.” – Emily
2. 1-800-Hotline-Bling
“My mom found out one day when she called the house looking for me. My brother, instead of knocking on my door, just barged into my room and found me balls deep in my girlfriend at the time. He went ‘hold on a second he’s having sex’ and left the phone on the floor. Thanks bro.”- Noodle-face
3. The Limit Does Not Exist
“I told my dad that my friend’s brother was coming over tutor me (but really we had been hooking up for months). My dad pulled into the driveway when we were upstairs having sex, so I ran downstairs and when my dad walked in I told him that my friend’s brother was just grabbing my calculator upstairs. Unfortunately, my dad went upstairs to say ‘hi’ and saw a condom wrapper on the floor. Also, he tried to flush the condom and it ended up clogging the toilet and my dad made me unclog it.” – Olivia
4. Quite Alarming
“My birth control alarm went off at my dad’s surprise birthday party and my phone just so happened to be next to him on the counter. The alarm said “BIRTH CONTROL” in huge letters, so there was no hiding that. Happy birthday?” – Gab
5. Damn It, Jimmy
“Her parents came home four hours earlier than expected the day before Thanksgiving and though I hid, we had ordered Jimmy John’s and her parents got very suspicious as to why there were two sandwiches. This led to her angry British father finding me in her closet, and thankfully I was wearing pants. Their parents told us, ‘You guys are stupid, but we love you both,’ but they still called my parents. I wasn’t allowed to see her for a month, I’m just glad I didn’t die. Her dad likes to hunt… A lot.” – PandaWithAnRPG
6. Probably Not TBH
“My dad was helping me move into my new apartment at college and he was about to open up a drawer that I knew I had condoms in. I was like ‘Dad stop, I got it,’ and he was like, ‘I already saw them, Magnums? Does your boyfriend even know how to put one of those things on?'” – Gabrielle
7. Ma, The Onions
“Had my first ‘serious’ girlfriend at 15. We would go to the backroom of the house to study. In reality we’d screw each others brains out, and then I’d spend 15 minutes doing her homework for her (hey, she made honor roll that semester). Anyway, it’s about dinner time and we head out to the kitchen to discuss ordering a pizza with my parents. My dad is discussing toppings and mentions onions. My girlfriend says, ‘Eww. I don’t like onions. They give you bad breath.’ My father, not missing a beat, says, ‘Well that doesn’t bother me, but then I’m not the one screwing around in the back room.’ I started laughing, but I thought my girlfriend was going to die of embarrassment.”- Fast_Sparty
8. When Dad Jokes Go Too Far
“When I was around 17 I had a girl over for the weekend. My father was really cool about us having the opposite sex over, so when he saw us exiting my bedroom my father asked us if we were hungry. We both agreed that we were and he offered to make some kosher hot dogs. She said something along the lines of ‘Oh, I have never had kosher before.’ In which his response was ruffling my hair and saying ‘Oh, yes, you have.’ Many cringes were had.” – Mockedidol
9. Dead Fish
“My dad came to check on me in the middle of the night and walked in on me having sex, but I think (hope) it was too dark to notice. We just laid there like fish with him on top of me and his dick inside of me. My dad never said anything.” – Catherine
10. Great Customer Service
“When I was 16, I had a girlfriend and a crappy part time job. I couldn’t afford Trojans, so I bought some Durex. Despite their name, they weren’t durable and two out of the six broke. I called the 1-800 number on the back and asked for a refund. The customer service rep took my name and address and promised to send me a check ASAP. A few weeks later I’m opening birthday presents and there is a medium sized box my mom said was from my (very conservative, ultra religious) aunt. It had come while I was at school in a plain box with no return address, so she assumed it was my birthday present and wrapped it up. None the wiser, I opened the box and dumped it out on the table to find almost 50 individually-wrapped condoms. There was a $5 check inside with a note from the friendly customer service agent hoping to convince me to give Durex another shot. I think my parents already had a hunch that I was sexually active, but that certainly erased any doubts they may have been harboring.” – drsmith21
11. F The Cloud
“My parents were receiving vulgar texts from my friend group chat referring to walking home from a boy’s house after sex, and some details. Use your imagination. Also, I never want to hear my dad say the word fingering again.”- Julia
