7 Excuses For Returning The Ugly Sh*t You Got For Christmas
The only thing worse than getting nothing for Christmas is getting something that you would never, ever, wear and/or use.
You get your hopes up while tearing up some candy cane wrapping paper, only to be disappointed by a fuzzy sweater that looks like it was purchased at Justice.
But it’s one thing if your relative DGAF and obviously just threw some random shit in a box for you, it’s another if they spent a lot of time picking it out and constantly ask about it every time they see you.
Every family dinner, Aunt Marge is asking if she can see pics of you in your new sweater, or Uncle James is asking if you’d had time to set up the bluetooth alarm clock he got you. You don’t want to tell them that you returned said gifts because you hated that shit, right? So instead, tell them one of these lies.
1. It didn’t fit
The oldest white lie in the book. But I mean, it could technically be true. Fit is so subjective. Maybe the frilly dress you got from grams was technically your size and zipped up all the way, but she doesn’t realize that you like all of your dresses skintight, and this one was far from fitting, at least in your mind.
2. You’re allergic
For obvious reasons, this excuse only works on certain items. Obviously food if any weirdo is getting you fruitcake, but also clothes and jewelry. You know, like if you suddenly developed an allergic reaction to sterling silver or wool. It could happen!
3. It reminds you of your ex
Hey, it seems kind of far-fetched, but it could be legit. And who’s to tell you that you can’t get heartbroken over a perfume scent? I mean, what if it was the same scent your ex bought you? Or the scent you wore when he dumped you?
4. It was defective
Maybe that “super cool” video game that you received from your cousin just happened to be scratched, and when you went to exchange it, it was already sold out. Tragic.
5. It got lost during travel
Nothing’s worse than losing your luggage — or getting something stolen out of your luggage. Unless, of course, it’s conveniently that iTunes gift card you got from your boss that you were never, ever going to use.
6. You used it so much that it broke
Just tell your bae that the ridiculously over-the-top lingerie he got you was so cute that you put it on and were dancing around in front of the mirror, and when you bent over to twerk it ripped! Oh well, better luck next year!
7. Someone stole it
Who knew that monogrammed fuzzy scarves were all the rage this year? Well, apparently it was so cool that some thief deciding to snag it from you at the last holiday party you attended. What a shame.