6 Types of Hookups Every Girl Has In College
Even if you made the mistake of staying long-distance with your high school boyfriend during your freshman year of college, you likely ended that by sophomore year and still had time to make a buttload of mistakes and accumulate a textbook’s worth of hilarious hook-up stories. Good times!
Not everyone had a four person orgy in a dorm common room like you did, but pretty much every girl had these six types of hookups in college. And if you didn’t, you better get on that, it’s not too late!
1. The Study Break Hookup
Everybody knows that a good smoosh session is an amazing stress reliever, right? When you’ve spent all week cooped up in your library or in your bedroom with your calculus books, sometimes you just need to clear the mind with an orgasm. Thankfully, you know plenty of other people are thinking the same. Maybe mass text all your usual booty calls and see who’s free to be a study buddy and get you off? That’s probably how you aced all your exams and you know it.
2. The Bucket List Hookup
“YOLO” is kind of the entire theme of college. When else are you going to get to party, f*ck, and drink this much without being dubbed an “alcoholic” or just fucking crazy? Sometimes you just hookup for the story, aka resume sex. Maybe you really wanted to bang in the library, maybe you really wanted to bang an Ivy League hottie from the college next door, or maybe you just wanted to get eiffel towered. YOLO, right?
3. The Mid-Day Hookup
Being blacked out at 2 p.m. on a Saturday (or even a Friday) is totally chill in college. Likewise, so is booty-calling at 2 p.m.. The plus side is that no walk of shame is required. The minus side is that you have to see what your partner looks like in daylight.
4. The Post-Pizza Hookup
Any dude with a brain knows that the way to win a girl’s heart is not by buying her a drink, it’s by buying her pizza. Have you ever eaten half of an entire pizza and then banged afterwards? No? Well then your college experience clearly wasn’t as fabulous as mine.
5. The “Let’s Pretend This Never Happened” Hookup
So maybe you got drunk and f*cked your neighbor, or maybe you hooked up with a rando only to find that he’s now your lab partner for the semester. It happens. No matter how big your college is, it can suddenly feel really small when you have banged someone you never wanted to see again. Just act like it never happened and they’ll probably follow your lead.
6. The “Oh Shit” Hookup
Sometimes you f*ck the last person that you should ever f*ck. Maybe it was your ex, or maybe you really screwed up and it was your best friend’s ex. Maybe it was just a guy friend that you really didn’t want to ruin the friendship with by getting sexual. Either way, your insatiable sexual appetite mixed with jungle juice was not a great combo, and now you’re regretting ever going out last night and wondering if you totally f*cked up a relationship. Chill out, everyone does stupid stuff like this. At least now you know how to do some damage control.