57 Basic Hot Guy Names And What They Mean
When a perfectly chiseled blonde dude with white teeth comes up to you at the bar and introduces himself as “Brad,” you’re probably thinking, “of course your name is fucking Brad.”
You can say “a rose by any other name smells just as sweet,” but we beg to differ. Something about a dude named Brad just screams “conventionally handsome,” just like the name Chad screams “date rapist.”
If you’re trying to figure out what to think of your latest Tinder match, just ask yourself, what’s in a name?
You stared at the back of his head longingly all throughout high school. He messaged you two years ago on Tinder as if he’d never seen you before in his life.
Joined a fraternity in college and ruined all his chances of hotness with a beer belly.
Asked your sister out after you rejected him.
Will fuck anything that breathes.
Has a freakishly big dick for a short guy.
Will act like your boyfriend for one week and then act like he doesn’t know you the next. Might be on drugs.
Uses cougar dating sites and has tried meth.
Perfect pecs. Obsessed with omelettes.
Still lives with his mom, claims he’s a DJ.
Randomly texts you high thoughts. You entertain them because he’s sexy.
Takes all of his Tinder dates to the same bar.
The cutest little skater boy in middle school. Currently looks like Jabba the Hut.
Took over the “family business” which apparently means posting racist shit on Facebook at all hours of the day.
Has a big dick. Also is a big dick.
Probably going to marry his high school sweetheart. Still slides into your DMs randomly.
Peaked in high school.
Sends mass booty call texts. It usually works.
Joined a frat in college and now thinks he’s the fucking Wolf of Wall Street.
Doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s an asshole. Loves being called a fuckboy. Always trying to fight someone at the bar.
Teddy bear. Randomly lost all his chubbiness after college and is now strangely sexy. Always gives head.
Poses with a surfboard more than he actually rides one.
Tall, older dreamboat who always has a girlfriend with perfect hair.
Has a small dick. Doesn’t know how to use it.
Gets violently angry at you after you reject him.
Huge goofball, but like, in a sexy way. Has a tattoo on his ass.
Looks like a god. Also has the IQ of a potato.
Might be in the mafia.
Thinks Vineyard Vines is cool.
Is really deep and too shy to actually hit on you. Once you realize that no “signs” you give are going to get him to make a move, you eventually give up.
Has a ton of tattoos and tries to be “edgy,” but is really just a baby in a leather jacket.
Tweeted “All Lives Matter.”
Really good at a bougie person sport (lacrosse, golf, tennis).
Too immature to ever grow up to be a James. Avoid them like the plague.
Danny has wonderful hair and a dad who left his family so basically his entire life is based around that. He also plays guitar and thinks soccer is going to happen for adults in America and needs to get the f over it. Stop going to bars to watch soccer Danny, nobody cares!
Shy in person, animal in bed.
You’ll never get over him. He still thinks your name is Jane.
Will date rape you.
Ex-fuck buddy who had an emotional breakdown during college so now you’re Facebook friends with his mom.
Posts shirtless selfies with his guitar on Instagram. Claims he’s “complicated.”
Secretly is really good at painting but doesn’t tell anybody because it’s “not manly enough.”
Total asshole, but he smiles a lot and thinks he can confuse people.
Is 90-99% sure he’s god’s gift to women.
Skinny nerd who loves craft beer and his mom too much.
Has a lot of feelings and probably cries more than you do.
Doesn’t know where the clitoris is.
Didn’t get laid until halfway through college.
Virgin. Still thinks girls having their period are gross.
Still has the Justin Bieber swoop hair.
Thinks he’s a “nice guy” and uses that as an excuse to get mad at you for not fucking him.
Is a human golden retriever — lovable, goofy, fun, and willing to hump anything that stands still long enough.
Lovable oaf who despite his chub and lack of ambition/job is somehow always dating a 10.
The older man who’s way too busy for you because of his job. Fantastic in bed, like 11/10.
Wants to be a hipster but is tragically uncool. Wants to have problems even though his life is perfectly fine.
Owns too much vinyl and tries to play it around you to melt your heart. It works when you’re drunk.
Tries to fuck his best friend’s ex the day after they break up.