WOW: Only 70% Of Couples Bang On Their Wedding Night

Everybody knows what goes down between a couple on their wedding night. You take photos, you say your vows, you get a little (or a lot) drunk, and then you go back to the hotel suite and bang, right?

Well, maybe not. Apparently, only 70% of millennial couples bang on their wedding night, according to a survey done by SKYN Condoms.

Here, I’ll do the math for you. That means that 30% of couples aren’t having sex on their wedding night, which is pretty fucking tragic if you ask me.

It’s one thing for young people to not be into sex as much anymore, but it’s another thing for people to not want to f*ck their spouse on the first day of their marriage. I mean, what does that say about how the rest of their marriage will be? Nothing good… if you ask me.

To give these celibate couples the benefit of the doubt, I’ll consider the fact that maybe one spouse got too hammered, or that perhaps one is narcoleptic or something. But otherwise, I really can’t think of a reason why you wouldn’t want to celebrate your brand new marriage with an orgasm?!?

Maybe this is just proof that marriage sucks the fun out of everything. Or maybe we’re just f*cking lame. Either way, this is sad.

Gimme More Dating

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