What Your Fav Celebrity Pool Float Moment Says About You
Is it just us, or have you noticed that celebrities are really into pool floats lately?
And just like there are thousands of fish in the sea, there are thousands of celebrity pool float moments.
From Taylor Swift ushering in a new era of #relationship goals to Nicki and Beyoncé feeling themselves, here’s a look at some of your favorite celebrity pool float moments and what liking them says about you.
Rih fell off her swan float to save her wine!🍷😩😂😂 (no sound)🚫 pic.twitter.com/Z7W0u17Hyg
— Rihanna’s Snapchat (@RihSnapchat) June 1, 2016
You DGAF about finding a man, cuz you’re killing it on your own
In summer ’16, Rihanna posted a video of herself riding around on a swan float that doubled as a sloppy ode to singledom.
In the video, Rihanna is minding her business, drinking wine and having fun with her BFF, when all of a sudden her swan float decides it’s time to topple over. Try as she might, Rihanna can’t manage to keep upright, but even though she gets knocked down, she somehow manages not to spill a single drop of her wine.
Honestly, if that’s not the best metaphor for what it’s like to be single and killing it, we don’t know what is.
Obviously, if this is your favorite celebrity pool float moment, you’re probably single and have a very DGAF attitude about finding a bf/gf and #relationshipgoals in general. You also probably have great coordination, a strong commitment to alcohol, and are the coolest person in your friends group.
Your mission in life is to make #relationshipgoals happen IRL
Before Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris broke up and decided to Eternal Sunshine each other out of their social media history (and then basically go into hiding all year), their swan float selfie was the benchmark example of what a #relationshipgoals moment could be.
The sun was shining on them, her hand was across his chest, and they were showing the world that they were ready, willing and able to navigate the twists and turns of life together.
Oh, and not to mention, they were also letting the world know that yes, the rumors were true, not only were they were dating but they were more in love than you and your boyfriend.
If this is your favorite celebrity pool float moment, you’re probably very into your boyfriend, very into telling the world how much you love your boyfriend, and a little bit of an attention whore, which isn’t really a bad thing, just annoying when paired with an extra-photogenic boyfriend.
You know how to have fun (with your brand)
The entire Kardashian/Jenner family could write a series of encyclopedias about brand management, so it’s no real surprise that Kylie Jenner spends many a weekend floating around on a lip pool float, and having the time of her life.
If this is your fav celeb pool float moment, having fun is probably one of your top priorities. You’re always down to do something crazy or poke fun at yourself, and know how to turn your real life into a compelling Instagram post.
You don’t care about Instagram
Drake is incredible at writing cute lyrics and turning himself into a meme, but on Instagram, sometimes he phones it in.
Case in point: this photo of him looking grumpy on a boring float in an infinity pool. It’s like his brand manager told him he had to post a pool float photo and this was the only one he’d sit still for long enough.
Drake is too cool for pool floats and Instagram alike.
If this is your fav pool float moment, chances are you don’t care about being trendy,
You’re really skeptical of the world around you
Back before pool floats were even a thing, Justin Bieber was spending his time chilling by the pool, floating around on inflatable donuts that already have a bite taken out of them, and looking really skeptical about the whole thing.
Which is sad, but a pretty good metaphor for life and fame in general.
Shit looks nice, but sooner or later, somebody or something is going to take a bite out of you.
If this is your favorite celebrity pool float moment, it probably means that just like Justin, you’re skeptical about the world around you and or deeply cynical, but still willing to have a good time because YOLO, right?
Justin Bieber Part 2
You like to tease the world with your nakedness.
Good for you.
A photo posted by Kendall Jenner (@kendalljenner) on
You’re “chill” AF
Kendall Jenner is one of those “chill” girls who knows she’s hot.
On this particular day, over 100 weeks ago, Kendall and an untagged friend who looks like Hailey Baldwin spent their afternoon chilling on a swan float and proving that just two BFFs can make an even sexier pair of pool float riders than any couple.
If this is your favorite celebrity pool float moment you’re probably chill, photogenic, and tan from all the time you spend lounging around outside. You also are probably the alpha friend in all your relationships, or at least have the most tastefully small boobs so nobody ever wants to use your chest as a pillow.
Kendall Jenner Part 2
You’re hot to thot
When you’re hot to thot you don’t let anything get in the way of the perfect photo.
Like for instance, the absence of water.
It doesn’t matter.
Just stick your pool float on the ground, sit with your crotch out, and get your pout on.
Nicki Minaj + Beyoncé
You’re intimidating, but also #goals
Nicki Minaj and Beyoncé are not your average girls who pool float because when they share a pool float moment together, they don’t share devices, they each have their own.
Partly, let’s face it, that’s because they’re both rich as fuck and can afford to buy whatever toy goes best with their outfit that day, but it’s also because they’re both divas who need their own space to shine.
If this is your fav celeb pool float moment, you’re probably hot AF, a little bit intimidating, and not into sharing anything with your besties, besides food because let’s be real, there’s not a workout intense enough to burn off taking an entire pizza to the face.
You should also know that everybody in the world is jealous of you, and that’s not just your big ego talking.
You’re v. introspective
Mostly, when we think of pool floats, we think of a frivolous day in the sun, but as Vanessa Hudgens points out, pool floats can also be a place for deep introspection.
If this is your favorite celebrity pool float moment, then you probably spend a lot of time by yourself, thinking about life’s big problems. Or at least what you should order on Seamless for lunch today.
You really want to be cool, but you just don’t get it
Sorry bb, but if this is your favorite celebrity pool float moment then just like Zooey Deschanel, you just don’t get it.
Pool floats have to actually be in a pool in order to be fun.
And seriously, what the hell is up with that baby head in the background? Girl, you’re a piece of work.