WHAT EXACTLY WAS JACOB ELORDI DOING AT BOTTEGA VENETA?
Plus, fall wardrobe problems, Gucci’s dramatic beauty department, and why everybody needs an answer from me right now.
I opened Instagram and immediately had questions.
One involved Jacob Elordi and a camera.
Another involved the makeup at Gucci.
And the rest concern my gym bag, my fall wardrobe and the fact that apparently everybody needs to hear from me before lunch.
Welcome back to NOT THAT SERIOUS.
Let’s get into it.
WAIT. DID JACOB ELORDI JUST TAKE A PICTURE OF KENDALL JENNER???
Image source: Getty
Kendall Jenner closed Bottega Veneta’s Spring 2027 show in Milan on September 26. Jacob Elordi was sitting front row, and when she walked past, he pulled out a little camera to take her picture.
Apparently, we’re doing romance like it’s 2004.
And listen, I can enjoy a cute moment without demanding that everybody involved provide a formal statement.
But I have questions.
Did he get the shot?
Does Kendall get to approve it?
Is there a little folder somewhere labeled Kendall in Milan?
Because that would be adorable.
Kendall, meanwhile, was closing the show in a dramatic black draped dress. Very chic. Very Bottega.
Some people have extremely interesting Saturdays.
Mine involved laundry.
Anyway, moving on before I start asking to see the photographs.
I HAVE BEEN WAITING ALL SUMMER TO WEAR A JACKET. NOW WHAT?
Image: Getty/Pinterest
It’s fall.
Finally.
I’ve been waiting for this.
The coats. The boots. The scarves. The opportunity to leave my apartment looking like I have somewhere incredibly important to be.
And now that fall is here, I have discovered something troubling.
I still don’t know what to wear.
How is that possible?
I’ve spent the entire summer saving outfit references, mentally purchasing coats and imagining the person I would become once the temperature dropped.
Apparently, that person has an unlimited clothing budget.
I do not.
So I’m trying something revolutionary this season: wearing the clothes I already own.
A good jacket. Great jeans. Boots I forgot I had. One slightly unnecessary accessory.
For personality.
Not every outfit needs to be a reinvention.
Sometimes getting dressed is just getting dressed.
Although I will be looking at leather jackets this evening.
For research.
WHY DOES EVERYBODY NEED AN ANSWER FROM ME RIGHT NOW???
When did having a phone become a legally binding agreement to be available at all times?
Because I don’t remember signing anything.
The messages. The emails. The group chats. The follow-up messages about the original messages.
The person who sends “???” because you haven’t responded in approximately 26 minutes.
Girl.
I was eating. I understand that some things are urgent.
But not every message is an emergency.
Apparently, I have a lot going on.
I’ll get back to everybody.
Eventually.
TTYL.
