Here are the weirdest things people do to debloat their faces
As far as first world problems go, a bloated face is surely among the most irritating.
Extra face puff this is something we all encounter from time to time — it’s completely harmless, and some people probably completely disregard it. For some of us, though it makes us feel self-conscious, extra sluggish and just kind of ugh. It can be incredibly annoying and inconvenient.
Luckily, for every non-problem us humans endure, there are likely about 45 solutions, ranging from foolproof to questionable to unbelievable.
I figured that since face bloating is something so many of us often complain about, I’d ask around and see how different people go about ‘remedying’ this issue. In doing so, I found myself to be quite literally astonished at the creative lengths we go to in order to slim our faces. Your lemon water is shaking. Read on for some super niche debloating life-hacks made by the people, for the people.
“I literally take coffee and smear it all over my face. It works so well, like magic. I’ll usually take ground coffee beans and mix that with honey, and then make it into a mask and leave it on my face for a few minutes.”
morning coffee ☕ – today I used the @lushcosmetics cup o coffee face mask, along with the @cleanandclear morning burst brightening cleanser and advantage Hydrating gel moisturizer!! – tags: #skincare #skin #mask #mudmask #coffeemask #cupocoffee #coffee #makeup #makeuplook #lush #lushcosmetics #lushmask #cleanandclear #morningburst
The more you know.
Don’t have time for a fancy mask? All good:
“If my face is super bloated, I’ll sometimes put frozen spoons on my cheeks for a few minutes. Sometimes I’ll even keep them there for up to an hour. Usually by then my swelling has gone down a lot.”
Or, an even faster alternative:
“My eyes get super puffy, so I leave a bag of frozen pees on my face and it’s amazing.”
Logically this makes sense, since when you have inflammation or swelling somewhere you’re supposed to ice the area affected. I guess I just never thought to apply it to a bloated face. The month-old bag of frozen peas in my freezer just became a lot more relevant.
“Okay this is crazy but I swear it works. You know the age-old tale of putting cucumbers on your eyelids to reduce puffiness? Well this works for your face too. I peel cucumber, put it in a blender, make it into a paste and leave it on my face for like half an hour. I look like a loon, but I also look debloated.”
I feel as though we as humans put cucumbers through so much, but it’s always for a good cause.
“I read something online about freezing green tea into ice-cubes and rubbing the cubes on your face. I’ve actually started doing it, and it works.”
You literally can’t make this up.
“I give myself a full-on facial massage. I have a self-care playlist on Spotify that I throw on when I’m feeling extra shitty. Then I take some coconut oil, smear it on my face in small motions, and then wash my face. I always look less puffy afterwards.”
This, to me, seems like killing three birds with one stone. If anything, this method is an awesome excuse to listen to music and practice self-love, lol.
I’m challenging myself to try at least three of these in a week and see which of these methods works best. Each person I spoke to seemed very confident in their respective approach, so it looks like my face is about to go through some shit, for better or for worse.
Join me, friends, as I embark on this adventure. Good luck— and happy debloating!