10 Things I Learned From Beautycon 2017
The first thing I saw at Beautycon 2017 was a fleet of unicorn statues that people were writing on with chalk.
The next thing I saw was tweenagers running around with metallic freckles on their cheeks. And since I walked in alone, without a friend to hold my hand and point out the direction of the good booths, I didn’t know where to even begin.
And maybe it’s because I started out so confused, but I really feel like I learned a whole helluva lot in my short time at Beautycon.
Here are some of my choicest pearls of wisdom.
1. Charge your frickin’ phone BEFORE you show up.
This is a rookie mistake, but I went to Beautycon with 50% battery thinking I would be fine, and I was NOT.
This year Beautycon happened to be held in the boonies of Brooklyn and my phone got drained trying to keep in contact with the outside world.
To Beautycon’s credit, they did anticipate this problem and had about 10 or so charging station tables scattered around, but they were crowded.
2. Drew Barrymore loves zines
While I was waiting in line to get my face professionally Facetuned, Drew Barrymore randomly showed up at the booth handing out paper zines for her cosmetics and fragrance line, Flower Beauty. Her face was positively glowing, and she didn’t leave until she’d handed each and every single person their own copy of her zine. Because that’s how much she cares about zines.
She even decided to take a selfie with all of us. “Lean in,” Drew called out. But at the last minute she decided to hold up a copy of the zine over all of our faces. She loves zines!
3. People will wait in a line for 20 minutes just to get something free
I don’t know what I was expecting, but Beautycon is all about standing in line.
You wait in line to buy pink donuts that look great on Instagram, you wait in line to try out a new makeup line that looks great on Instagram, and you wait in line to get a free mystery product that might look great on Instagram but might just look like a tube.
Understandably, these freebie lines were usually the longest, and usually they came with a catch. Either you couldn’t pick what you wanted or in order to get the free product, you first had to let whoever take your picture holding the product and looking like you were having a gay old time.
TBH I think this is completely fair.
And full disclosure, I was really angling to take a picture with the founder of this random beauty company that makes lash serums and caption our photo, “Me and my new best friend at Beautycon,” but even though I was standing right in front of her, she only had eyes for the teens around me. To be fair, most of them probably had more Instagram followers than I did, but still. I’ll never get over you, random older woman.
We could have had it all.
Rolling in the deep.
4. If you can’t find the perfect mauve lipstick, just get a purple one and layer some nude gloss over it
I overheard this tip while I was walking by a talk Revlon was giving. I don’t doubt the validity of this claim, and so I pass it on to you.
5. I am ugly
While getting my face professionally Facetuned, I realized there are a lot of things that can be considered wrong about my face.
After the nice lady was through fixing my flaws, I barely even recognized the face looking back at me, which I took as a sign that there was nothing about my natural face worth saving.
World, behold what true beauty looks like.
Don’t I look like plastic?
6. Absolut vodka makes makeup
I didn’t wait in line to try it out because the line was always long and the idea of putting alcohol on my face sounds like a bad idea, but it exists.
7. I look great with pink-orange hair
8. I look less great with blonde hair
9. Flower crowns are still in
Vogue told us this months ago and I didn’t believe them, but at Beautycon there were a lot of ladies running around in identical flower crowns.
Granted, they were only wearing them because one of the booths was giving them out, but still, they were wearing them.
And you don’t have to do anything at Beautycon.
10. Beauty people are fun to party with
We sent a few representatives to the Lime Crime after party at the Hotel on Rivington and they say it was one of the best parties in recent memory.
According to senior editor Molly Mulshine who was in attendance, it blew every fashion week party in recent memory out of the water (besides Galore’s fashion week parties, obviously).
The reason for this, we think, is that beauty people don’t take themselves as seriously as fashion people. So instead of standing around staring at each other’s outfits, all the beauty obsessives at the Lime Crime party were dancing their asses off and actually making new friends. At a party in New York City! Who ever heard of such a thing?
All in all, Beautycon 2017 was a time.
I could have dealt with fewer unicorns, but I sure did learn a lot about life, love, and the mysteries of what’s wrong with my face.
Until next year.