IT’S THE FIRST DAY OF FALL. WHY AM I STILL THE SAME PERSON???
New season, same inbox. Kylie’s in St. Tropez, Dario has a new job, and apparently I’m supposed to have a fall wardrobe by now.
It’s officially the first day of fall.
I woke up expecting something to happen.
A shift in the atmosphere. A sudden desire to make soup. Perhaps an entirely new personality would arrive before lunch.
Instead, I woke up as myself.
Interesting.
Every year I treat fall like a software update. I’m going to dress better. Get organized. Buy a beautiful coat. Become one of those people who owns matching hangers and somehow knows what to do with a butternut squash.
My signature fragrance will change.
(It won’t. It’s still Nirvana. Just Rose.)
My mornings will become cinematic. I will stop checking my email before I’ve fully opened both eyes.
And yet.
Here we are.
Kylie Jenner is in St. Tropez. Dario Vitale has a new job. London Fashion Week has given me several things to discuss, and I am once again being asked to participate in the workforce.
Welcome back to NOT THAT SERIOUS.
The seasons are changing.
I would also like to change.
KYLIE JENNER IS MAKING YOUTUBE FEEL LIKE YOUTUBE AGAIN
I had work to do Monday.
Instead, I watched Kylie Jenner get ready for St. Tropez.
Correct decision.
There’s something about Kylie’s recent videos that makes YouTube feel like YouTube again. She gets her classic spray tan. She’s packing. She’s walking around that gorgeous house. We’re just sort of…there.
And I would like to be there permanently.
Not as a guest.
I would happily be one of her pets.
Think about it. Beautiful house. No Outlook. Someone feeds you. Kylie occasionally tells you you’re cute.
This is retirement.
That’s what I miss about old YouTube. You weren’t necessarily watching because something was happening. You watched because you wanted to spend 20 minutes in somebody else’s world.
Apparently I needed that Monday.
Because in my world, Mike had sent another email.
Mike isn’t real. Mike is every person who has ever typed “just following up” before I’ve emotionally recovered from their first email.
Mike, please.
I’m in St. Tropez right now.
Mentally.
Maybe that’s my fall self-care. I don’t need 14 new products or a seven-step morning routine. Sometimes I need to change what I’m looking at.
Put on the vlog. Make coffee. Go for a walk. Watch someone get a spray tan in a house you could never afford.
Twenty minutes later, the email will still be there.
Unfortunately.
But your POV has changed.
Anyway, Mike. I’m back.
What did you need?
DARIO VITALE HAS A NEW JOB. I HAVE QUESTIONS.
I opened Instagram and Dario Vitale has another job.
Good for him.
I, meanwhile, have been thinking about one email since 10:42 this morning.
After years at Miu Miu and an extremely brief Versace chapter, Dario is headed to Armani. And honestly, this is interesting.
Because Armani and Dario do not immediately occupy the same room in my brain.
That’s exactly why I want to see it.
His Versace collection had color, character and a little weirdness. Armani has this completely different vocabulary: ease, tailoring, restraint, the kind of Italian sophistication that suggests you own a beautiful apartment and have never checked your bank account before ordering dinner.
So what happens when those two languages meet?
I don’t know.
That’s the fun part.
His Versace era ended before I was finished having opinions about it, so apparently I’ll be taking those opinions with me to Armani.
Dario, congratulations.
Please do something weird with a handbag.
BURBERRY MADE ME WANT TO GET DRESSED AGAIN. THIS IS INCONVENIENT.
Image: Vogue runway
Image: Vogue runway
London Fashion Week ended yesterday, and Daniel Lee apparently decided Burberry needed to loosen up a little.
For Spring 2027, he collaborated with textile designer Celia Birtwell, bringing her expressive floral prints into a collection with rumpled textures, softer tailoring, denim, and reworked outerwear.
And I have to say, I like where this is going.
There’s something about clothes that look a little lived in.
Not messy.
Not like you slept in them because you missed your alarm.
More like you have an interesting life and occasionally leave the house without checking whether every part of your outfit is perfectly arranged.
I think we’ve spent so much time trying to look expensive that we forgot clothes are allowed to have a personality.
Everything has to be polished. Elevated. Timeless.
What if I want a floral shirt that looks like it belongs to somebody who has stories?
What if I want a coat that isn’t trying to convince me it’s an investment?
What if I simply want to get dressed and have a good time?
The problem is that Burberry has now made me want several things.
And it’s the first day of fall.
I was supposed to be financially responsible this season.
Daniel, please.
I have other expenses.
MCQUEEN TOOK US TO CHURCH. THERE WAS ALSO A RAVE.
Image: Vogue Runway
Image: Vogue Runway
Speaking of London, Seán McGirr brought McQueen back to the city’s Fashion Week calendar with a Spring 2027 collection that drew on rave culture, historical art, and traditional tailoring. The show took place in Lincoln’s Inn Chapel.
A chapel.
A rave.
McQueen.
Okay.
I love when a runway show makes me feel like I need to investigate what I just saw.
Not everything needs to be a sensible little outfit for a sensible little occasion.
Sometimes I want fashion to take me somewhere.
Somewhere strange.
Somewhere I probably wouldn’t be allowed to enter wearing the shoes I currently own.
And I appreciate the idea of putting very different worlds in the same room.
Because that’s how getting dressed actually feels sometimes.
You want to look elegant.
You also want to look a little dangerous.
You want a beautifully tailored jacket.
You also want to look like you might know where the after-party is.
I don’t necessarily know where the after-party is.
But I would like the outfit to suggest otherwise.
WHY AM I ALREADY TIRED? FALL JUST STARTED.
Image: Pinterest
It is September 23.
Fall has been here for approximately five minutes and somehow I’m already behind.
I thought the new season would arrive and suddenly I’d meal prep, answer emails immediately, organize my closet and become someone who remembers where he put important documents.
Instead, someone wrote “just following up.”
On what?
We were just talking.
Maybe that’s the scam of the fall rebrand. We imagine this fabulous new version of ourselves without accounting for the fact that all our existing responsibilities are coming with us.
New coat.
Same inbox.
New fragrance.
Same password I keep forgetting.
Beautiful new planner.
Absolutely nothing written inside it.
So no, I did not wake up a different person because fall started.
Kylie is still in St. Tropez. Dario has a new job. Burberry made me want to spend money. McQueen apparently wants me at church and the rave.
And I’m still me.
Which is probably fine.
I’ll buy the coat anyway.
TTYL.
