The Hotter You Are, The Harder Dating Is
After a long week of work when you just wish you had a snuggle buddy, you look in the mirror and wonder to yourself, “I’m hot, I’m fun, I look damn good in a bikini, why don’t I have a boyfriend?”
But what if I told you that dating is actually harder for hotter chicks? That’s what Julie Ferman says. Julie Ferman is a matchmaker who has been in the business for 23 years and is personally responsible for over 1,100 marriages.
Fernman argues that more attractive women end up attracting cocky, asshole types while intimidating the good guys who may not be as confident in themselves.
“The more attracted a man is to a particular woman, the more nervous and fearful he will be that she will reject him,” she says. “Especially since he will have likely been ‘shot down’ by dozens, even hundreds of women in his past, and some of these women have not been nice in the way they’ve said ‘No, Thanks.’ The super cocky, arrogant player type will typically stroll over to say some version of ‘Hey, baby, How ya doing,’ but the really good guy will often hesitate to approach, unless he gets a signal from her that she’s safe to engage.”
Is this why you’ve been stuck with douchebags for the past couple of months? You’re just too hot to find a caring lover? Let’s not get too cocky here, but Ferman definitely has a point.
“A man tends to look for not only a woman he’s attracted to, but also the woman he thinks he’s got a shot at,” Fernman says. “If a guy doesn’t think he can win at something, he’s much less likely to play…So, especially if she is interested and attracted to him, she should always let her eyes, her smile, and her body language say so for her. Usually that’s really all the ‘effort’ it takes.”
So how do you make your sexy self more approachable to men? While dating apps like Bumble have allowed girls to ease into being the aggressor, in person is a totally different story.
You don’t need to run up to said sexy dude and profess your love, remember that most guys are naturally somewhat cocky, they just need a hint.
“She might take it so far as to say, ‘lovely meeting you. Here’s how to find me,’ sharing her card or contact information,” Fernman says. “Men will often reveal to me that they wish women would give them a clue, whether it’s a subtle cue or a two-by-four over the head. A really good man doesn’t want to make a woman uncomfortable by ‘hitting’ on her – he’d rather the interaction be a dignified one, without too much risk of embarrassment for him. Just a little eye contact and a sweet smile gives him the opening that a good man needs to approach her.”