It’s 2016, Why Are You Still Chasing A**holes?

If you’re a girl, you may have uttered the words “all guys are the same.” If you’re a guy, you may have sighed while stating that “nice guys finish last.” While neither of these statements are wholeheartedly true, they do seem to accurately describe dating in the average millennial’s life.

After all, it seems that every guy you’re into ends up being a total asshole, and the only guys who are nice to you are the ones that you’re not into. How can this be? Are you simply super unlucky when it comes to love? Or is the reason you can’t find a good guy simply because you’re looking in the wrong place?

Maybe place is the wrong word, maybe it’s the type of guy you’re chasing that’s the issue. In fact, emphasis on the word chasing. Maybe I’m old school, but I come to like the idea of being pursued. I don’t expect a guy to climb a mountain for me, or to buy me new Louboutins on the first date, but I want to know that he wants me, and he wants me bad.

Some of you ladies love the drama. You secretly love stalking his Instagram and seeing that he liked his exes pic, because it makes you want to post an even hotter pic and see if he likes it. You love getting all dressed up to go to a party he’ll be at, because you want to win his attention from all the other girls he’s talking to.

Competition is great. The more competitive you are, the better you are at sports, your career, and maybe even your schoolwork. But competition shouldn’t have a place in your love life.

On the opposing side, part of what makes something (or someone) desirable is that you can’t get it easily. Even if you are attracted to a guy initially, if he becomes obsessed with you after one date you’re probably frightened. You’re justified in this behavior. I mean, if a guy is obsessed with you that quickly, he might be a stage five clinger. He could just as easily be the type of guy to become obsessed with a new girl every week, which is equally undesirable.

The trickiest part about finding a guy who’s worth your time is finding a balance. But, it’s not too late to make your New Years resolution to stop chasing assholes. Not sure if you’re chasing assholes? I’m sure your friends could give you their honest opinion about the type of dudes they’ve seen you chasing, but if you’re still not sure, I’ve formulated a rough checklist.

You Need to Stop Chasing Him If….

He comments on multiple girls Instagram photos

He never texts you first

He never initiates any type of communication with you before 2 am

You feel like you have to change your appearance to win him over (i.e: wear a push up bra, get a fake tan)

You tell your friends that you two “have a thing,” but his friends don’t even know your name

His ex has nothing good to say about him

He’s tried to hook up with one of your close friends

He asks for nudes and keeps persisting when you say no

You never feel comfortable with him

He disappears from your life for weeks at a time

He’s still talking to his ex

You’ve never hung out soberly

I’m rooting for you, we’re all rooting for you. Fuck your bullshit resolution about avoiding pizza and start your year off right by avoiding fuck boys instead.

Photo via Tumblr

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