“I was in San Francisco, and I was desperate for beer, and I walked into this place…and I noticed there was a wide selection of beers I’d never heard of. Which is fine… But I looked around: the entire place was filled with people sitting there with five small glasses in front of them, filled with different beers, taking notes. This is not a bar. This is fucking Invasion of the Body Snatchers. This is wrong. This is not what a bar is about.”
A Famous Food Expert Just Confirmed Craft Beer Bros Are Douchey AF
Craft beers were cool for a hot second. You were going against the norm, you were supporting small businesses, you were getting fucked up.
And then suddenly, they become mainstream, with craft beer bros even getting angry at their peers who chose to get turnt with an offensive Coors Light or a Corona.
Well, if you thought craft beer bros are douchey, congrats, you’re not alone. Even Anthony Bourdain thinks craft beer obsessives are idiots – or zombies, as he explained to Thrillist in a recent interview:
Bourdain then goes on to say what we were all thinking, that the whole point of a bar is to “get a little bit buzzed” (or a lot) and not to “sit there fucking analyzing beer.”
I mean seriously, think back to that cute guy with glasses you matched with on Tinder who listed craft beers as an interest in his bio. Imagine going to bar with him on a first date and having him pull out a damn notepad and start taking notes on the beers? Sure, that’s a little far-fetched (is it?), but it’d be just as annoying if he started going on about the level of hops and the peach-undertones in the brew you were both sipping on.
Like, dude, shut the fuck up. I swiped right because you looked like a hot version of Daniel Radcliffe, not because I was impressed by your knowledge of rando beers I’ve never heard of. Moreover, being obsessed with Untappd is just as lame as being obsessed with Pokemon Go, maybe even worse.
Sure, there’s nothing wrong with a dude who enjoys a nice underground brew every once in a while, but if he turns his nose up at a Bud Light, tell him he can try sticking his dick up the neck of his craft beer bottle instead.