Buy these under $70 dresses that are wedding appropriate but still thotty
Getting invited to a wedding is exciting – it means you get an open bar, free food, and an excuse to get lit and tear up the dance floor. Besides, almost everyone is in a good mood at weddings!
The only thing not so exciting? Having to buy a dress to wear to the wedding. Or, it might seem exciting at first, until you realize that your options are usually expensive af or look like something your mom would wear. You didn’t do Pilates all winter to hide your summer bod in a floor length shift dress, did you? Didn’t think so. Besides, how are you supposed to thot around at the wedding in something matronly?
Finding a dress that’s appropriate enough so you don’t get a rep as the wedding hoe (or make the bride mad), but also showcases your best assets is tough. So, we’ve highlighted some of the best wedding lewks that you can buy right now that’ll stay true to your thotty spirit without compromising your bank account or making you look like a fool.
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1. The “pretending to be a virgin but def had anal last night”
Missguided Grey Frill Floral Midi Dress, $32
Florals can make the baddest girl look innocent, right? Well, this dress does a great job of being “wedding appropriate” with the longer hemline, non-skintight fit, and relatively average cleavage – but still maintains enough thottiness for you to feel like yourself.
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2. The “I took thotty pics in the bathroom mirror before coming”
ASOS Super Thigh Split Maxi Dress, $45
The cool thing about this dress (besides the fact that it’s only $45) is that it’s dressy enough for a wedding, but casual enough for a nice dinner or a beach evening if you wear it with flat sandals. Another cool thing about this dress is that you can take some sick Instagram pics with a very Angelina Jolie-inspired leg out pose.
3. The “I’m def banging a groomsman”
Yellow Scuba Plunge Split Front Midi Dress, $24
This dress toes the line of wedding appropriate or nah, but it’s long enough and if you have relatively smaller boobies like the model you’ll be just fine. If you’re more on the boobalicious side, you can still wear this dress because it’s not your fault God decided to bless you with amazing tits.
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4. The “this is far away enough from white, right?”
Forever 21 Metallic Strappy Jumpsuit, $32
The great thing about wearing a jumpsuit is that if you get too turnt and fall on the dance floor, the chance of you exposing your lady bits is minimal. Unless you’re into that, in which case disregard this statement.
5. The “classy with a side of ass-y”
Missguided Camel Bandage Bandeau Frill Hem Mini Dress, $64
This is the absolute best type of dress for the girl who wants to look like she tried to be classy, but also has an ass that just won’t quit – that will look amazing in a dress like this.
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6. The “searching for a sugar daddy”
Missguided Burgundy Ribbed Backless Ruched Midi Dress, $32
Forget catching the bouquet, you’re just trying to catch up with all the divorced dudes in the back with Rolexes.
7. The “where’s the champagne?”
Nasty Gal Drunk in Love Slit Dress, $60
Because you’re so hot, all you need to show is a little leg to be the hottest girl in the room – aside from the bride, of course, because you’re not trying to make anyone cry. Also, this dress minimizes the chances of a wardrobe malfunction while still showing off your bod, which means you can get as turnt as you’d like without worrying about someone’s uncle getting an eyeful.
8. The “I didn’t want to come”
ASOS Corset Jumpsuit in Scuba, $72
We all know wearing white to a wedding is a faux-pas, but what about wearing black to a summer wedding? Black may be associated with funerals, but sometimes black is the only color that werks. We can’t all be pastel-wearing cheerleaders, ya feel?
