I Blew My Savings on a Boob Job — But Was It Worth It?
My tits were once tiny, and are now HUGE. I went from being called biggie smalls, due to my uneven breasts, to having a triple D chest.
No, it wasn’t a second puberty, it was a boob job. That’s why I also went from having decent credit, to my phone ringing off the hook with bill collectors looking for their coins. If you want to learn how I finessed a larger chest, keep reading and learn from my mistakes.
I’ve always dreamed of having a fuller chest. At 8 years old I knew I wanted to have fake breasts. I thank television shows like “The Swan” and “Extreme Makeover” for showing me what plastic surgery was at such a young age. Rather than wishing for a car for my Sweet 16, I hoped I would have a new pair of breasts.
I didn’t have a flat chest growing up; I had an uneven chest. I also lost a significant amount of weight during my adolescent years that changed my frame. It was pretty obvious which breast was the mommy and which was the baby tit (yes, this is a reference to Molly Shannon’s “Superstar”). It was also very obvious to the pervy boys in middle school and high school. One bold boy at lunch called me biggie smalls in front of all my friends after he realized my lovely lady lumps weren’t symmetrical.
I made it my mission to change my body. My breasts were always my insecurity and I knew it would make me happy.
During my senior year in college, I landed a great paying job. I thought I could put money away, save, and soon enough have the upper body of my dreams. After seeing a doctor in Beverly Hills, my dreams of saving quick and waking up a new me were stalled. A procedure that I expected to cost no more than $4,000 or $5,000 was actually $11,000. I always knew my breasts were a lot of work, but not THAT much work.
My doctor saw the panic in my face and suggested I look into a financing option. I couldn’t ask my parents for money, as they had their own bills to take care of, so financing was my only option. My impatience also helped. I had no clue how my broke ass was going to pull this off. My shaky credit qualified for the loan and right before the New Year, I was a new me with new breasts. My confidence soared; my wallet suffered.
And then I lost my job. I had signed my life away to this loan that I had no clue how to pay back. I stopped paying my bill on time, and then all together. 1-800 numbers began calling me and sending notices to my house. I wondered if they would try to take my tits away. There’s car repossession, is there boobie repossession?
I began to have this guilty feeling about myself. All my friends complimented me on my new breasts. And guys continued to stare at my chest, asking if I was a model — yeah right. If only they knew the financial trouble my plastic surgery was causing me. I was beginning to think my new body wasn’t worth the financial strain and personal embarrassment.
Today, plastic surgery is spoken about as if it’s a trip to the grocery store — it seems so easy. But it’s not easy, it’s just commonplace. And that doesn’t mean it’s not still expensive and exclusive to certain socioeconomic demographics. There are horror stories, women unable to afford pricey plastic surgery, thus traveling to different countries in order to pay a cheaper price. Many of these become botched surgeries or result in death.
Right now plastic surgery is even verging on cultural appropriation: non-ethnic, wealthy women are getting work done to simulate ethnic bodies — artificial curves, hips, and booties. Young women of color now want to change their features to over enhance their natural curves and naturally full lips. As an African American woman, I even spent thousands plumping my naturally juicy pout. This argument could go on.
For those of you set on altering your physique on a budget, look at these options. If you absolutely must get surgery, I recommend finding a doctor outside of your typical 90720 and OC zip codes. These saturated cities charge ridiculous prices because plastic surgeries are most common in these areas, plus the people typically have the means to spend.
READ ALSO: 7 Plastic Surgeries You Didn’t Know Existed
A heavy price doesn’t always mean the best work. Populated cities such as Texas, Miami, and Atlanta obviously perform plastic surgeries but they aren’t go-to spots like Beverly Hills and Orange County. A breast augmentation in Beverly Hills may cost $21,000 versus a $6,000 job in Texas. Do your research and maybe do some traveling for your next nip/tuck. I took my penny pinching self to Atlanta and saved $4,000 on my boob job. I use the term “saved” loosely.
I love my tits, but the price I paid, and the consequences I’m paying are questionable. I’m basically broke AF, with the price of two Chanel bags on my chest. If you want to go under the knife, think about whether it’ll be worth it when you’re way more broke than you are now. You never know what will happen.