BAWSE KITTY’S KORNER: Ghosting is real, and not just during October
Iâ€™ve recently experienced the semi-new millennial dating phenomenon that’s leaving me with a blow to my fragile ego â€“ ghosting.Â
It isnâ€™t totally new, and it happens everyday to the baddest of bitches, but it still threw me way off guard.
If you’re behind on lingo, “ghosting” is a term used for when the person youâ€™re dating/seeing/texting/sleeping with suddenly stops replying to your messages, phone calls, and basically ceases to exist in your life with no warning or explanation.
It’s happened to most all of us, even if youÂ didn’t know the term for it.
The worst part about ghosting? It actually hurts! Unfortunately, we’re supposed to just take ghosting and pretend like it isn’t painful. How does that make any sense?!
It’s really shitty when the person you were so head over heels for (or just mildly interested in and sharing intimacy with) decides they would rather leave you on read for four days (but still never miss watching a single Instagram story, of course *rolls eyes*).
But you get it â€“ ghosting sucks. Mainly because it’s hard to know how to even react when it happens to you. You’re given no explanation to the sudden lack of communication, and you are left to wonder how valid this union really was.
And it doesn’t matter if you were just fuck buddies or if you were in a full fledged relationship â€“ ghosting makes you sit and overthink the entire situation, when most likely, you did nothing wrong. They’re just a dick.
I have done a lot of things post-ghost to “handle” things, including spazzing and calling/texting a million times until I get a reply and going into protection mode and making sure it never happens again.
I donâ€™t know how well any of my ghost-protection methods work, but at least it makes me feel good.
And I get it! Things happen. Sometimes maybe the ghosting isn’t even intentional or purposeful. In this age, itâ€™s so easy to get distracted. I have my phone in my hand a majority of the day and still fail to answer texts in a timely manner, or even at all.
But, I can’t help but think that if youâ€™re actively pursuing someone, ghosting is a huge slap in the face, and can leave the ghost-ed party feeling really embarrassed, confused, and hurt.
At the end of the day, if someone is really, truly interested in you and the relationship you are building (whatever kind of relationship that may be), they will make time to engage with you and change the behaviors that ultimately make you uneasy.
That’s just fact.
Again â€“ ghosting sucks. And while ghosters may feel like they are taking control of their lives, they are actually being insanely passive aggressive and honestly, shitty af.
Anyway, if you’ve ever been ghosted and never got closure from a past fling or partner, no sweat. It’s not your fault that they couldn’t work up the courage to explain their feelings in a mature manner. Dust yourself off, get up, and try again. Hopefully the next person you get involved with isn’t as thoughtless. You will find your person!
And remember, ghosting doesn’t just occur during the month of October! Beware â€“ there are ghostsÂ everywhere (unfortunately).