9 Ways The Grinch Is Actually a Sad Millennial
I’ll admit it, when I first saw the live-action Grinch film with Jim Carrey, I was kind of appalled. I mean, nobody, especially not Jim Carrey, looks great with a pot belly and green fur everywhere. And what was wrong with the cartoon version?
But somehow, the 2000 blockbuster crept into my, and many other millennial hearts. And it’s no wonder why. I mean, have you ever analyzed the Grinch’s lines in that film? He is basically a millennial pizza-girl.
Allow me to explain.
1. He Likes His Dog More Than Humans
Millennials are fucking obsessed with dogs. They make Instagram accounts for them, they buy spa treatments for them, and many of them prioritize their pooches over humans. The Grinch is the same way. I mean, he’s been holed up in his cave with no company other than his dog for God knows how long, and he seemingly has had no problem with it.
2. He’s Scared of Feelings
The only thing scarier than no wifi signal is catching feelings, right? Or I mean, at least that’s what we’re supposed to say, even if we don’t believe it ourselves. Being cold-hearted fuckboys (or fuckgirls) is trendy, and if the world knows that we’re secret romantics, our street cred is totes going to be blown.
3. He’s Flaky AF
The problem with cell phones is that it’s way too easy to make plans, and it’s also way too easy to back out of them at the last minute. We’ve all definitely been guilty of shooting the last minute “OMG, I’m so sorry, I’m feeling so sick and I can’t come out tonight” text, right? Boo, you whore! At least the Grinch does it too, if that’s any consolation.
4. He Pretends To Care About His Diet
Millennial women in particular have a weird-ass relationship with dieting. One day they want to be #fitfam and post pics in their Lululemon leggings, the next day they want to brag about how they ate a whole pizza alone last night because they’re “so bad.” It’s confusing and annoying, but I think we can all agree that we’ve wondered to ourselves if we really needed that bag of pita chips or if we were just bored.
5. He Forces Himself To Socialize
When you have the internet, you don’t really need human interaction. I mean, why put on pants and force yourself to engage in small talk when you could be face first in your pillows watching Netflix? But just in case you ever need other people to take care of your ass or to write you a recommendation, you know you have to keep at least a few social ties, so you force yourself to go out, at least every once in a while.
6. He Has Mini Meltdowns When Picking An Outfit
We’ve all been there, you’re having a “fat” day, you’re sick of all your clothes, and you contemplate just not going out at all. Instead of trying to work with your closet to pick something you’ll feel good in, you simply sit on your bed in a towel whining. Great strategy. The best party is that you usually end up in the first outfit you tried on.
7. He Hate-Follows People
Deny all you want, but I know there’s at least one person you hate-follow. You know, you follow them on social media, but only so you can talk shit on them with your friends, or at least mentally judge them. It’s a bad habit, you Grinch!
8. He Genuinely Confused When He Has No Messages
When you wake up to absolutely no messages, you swear that your wi-fi is out, or that the Apple update is fucking with you again. Because I mean, you’re popular, right?
9. When He Leaves The House, He Regrets It
The good thing about 2016 is that you can totally leave the house in leggings, but the bad thing is that leggings won’t save you from dealing with annoying ass people, cat callers, or apocalyptic weather. Makes you wonder why you ever left the house in the first place.