6 Actual Things You Can Do Instead of Threatening to Move to Canada

It ain’t over til it’s over, but right now, at almost 2 a.m. EST after Election Day it looks like Donald Trump might be our next president.

UPDATE: It’s over and Donald Trump will be our next president.

But no matter what, one thing’s for sure: everyone has GOT to stop the whining. It’s unbecoming and unproductive, guys.

We all have that friend who’s already had the easiest possible reaction: “That’s it, I’m moving to Canada.” Sorry, this joke already been done 1 million times by sore losers after every election since 1867.

But here at Galore, we’re not quitters and we know you’re not too. We’re not moving to Canada, we’re gonna stay here and get shit done because that’s what boss bitches do. And besides, if all the boss bitches moved away, then we’re really never gonna have a woman president, are we?

So in addition to getting really fucking mad and vowing not to take it anymore, here are six things you can do instead of whining about moving to Canada.

1. Get to Know Your Local and State Political Situation

Most people pay way more attention to the presidential election than they do to local and state elections. This isn’t because the presidential election is more dramatic — take it from someone who used to cover local politics, Trump vs. Hillary has nothing on most city council races. No, it’s because we’re all lazy and presidential elections are spoon fed to us for months on end, so even those of us who don’t normally read the news absorb their deets by osmosis and before you know it, they’re all anyone’s talking about.

Well, if you actually give a shit about enacting change in your everyday life, you should really get involved in local and state politics. This could be anything from writing letters and emails to your senator to volunteering for a smaller campaign to literally running for elected office in your town. Get involved at a smaller level than the presidential election and you’ll be able to actually effect change instead of bouncing to Canada like a crybaby.

2. Volunteer to Do Something Nice

Chances are you’ve spent the last few months paying more and more attention to Twitter and the news, whipping yourself into a frenzy worrying about the election.

Well, guess what? We’re all still here and still alive and shit isn’t going to hit the fan for at least a few months, so it’s time to get our mind off of the election for a few and remember just how lucky we all are to even be alive.

As a true cynic, it pains me to advise anyone to do this, but Oprah was right. Giving back and donating your time will make you feel better. You could volunteer for some sort of politically related nonprofit, maybe a group that supports issues that are important to women or people of color or the LGBT community. Or you could just pack lunches at a soup kitchen for a day. Either way, it will make you feel a lot better about yourself, the world, and your fellow human beings.

3. Get in Touch With Your Creative Side

This one’s a little out of left field, but conservative regimes (and yes, this will probably be a regime) tend to result in great artistic movements.

Dystopian classics like “A Handmaid’s Tale” and “1984” were inspired by fear of something like this happening. Hip hop and punk rock started as ways for people to have a voice in the face of oppression. It might not make a massive difference in the grand scheme of things, but it’ll make you feel better and stronger if you revel in rebellious art and make some of your own instead of following the crowd.

At the very least, google some Hunter S. Thompson quotes and post those instead of another “moving to Canada” tweet.

4. Book a Trip — Just a Trip — to Another Country

Save some cash and go somewhere else for a few days. No matter how much fun you have, you’ll either come back feeling a tiny bit more thankful you’re from the U.S.A. or motivated to actually take the plunge and become an expat instead of just writing an annoying tweet about it.

5. Learn How to Calmly Discuss Politics With Conservatives

So maybe you’d literally rather volunteer to personally wipe Republicans’ butts than try to talk to them about these issues.

But guess what? Our country is terrifyingly divided right now and we’re not going to fix that by ignoring each other and looking down our noses at our opponents.

I know your conservative acquaintances and family members seem irrevocably racist, sexist, and old-fashioned. But behind their prejudices is fear and misunderstanding. Understand that they truly think they’re doing what’s right, and yelling at them and calling them names is only going to convince them you’re psycho.

It’s not fair that women, people of color, and the LGBT community not only go through oppression, but are expected to patiently and calmly explain exactly what’s wrong with that oppression to their oppressors. But if we don’t do it, who will? We can’t rely on people who are in the dark on this stuff to educate each other, so we need to remember we’re all humans and respecting each other is the only way we can bridge our differences.

You can still talk shit behind your racist uncle’s back, though.

6. Let Your Wallet Do the Talking

Listen, some of us are just lazy. That’s what gets us into most of these political messes, after all.

But you can literally donate money to Planned Parenthood or whatever other cause you care about without even talking to another human. Just use the internet and pledge some cash to the causes you care about. It’ll help and you’ll sleep better at night knowing you helped pay for the pap smear of someone slightly less insured than you.

Now listen to some vintage DC, wipe those tears, get out there, and do your thing!

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