Donald Trump Is Officially Our Next President

Just before 3 a.m. the morning after Election Day, Donald Trump took the stage at a Hilton Hotel in New York City to accept the presidency.

He started his speech by confirming that Hillary Clinton had called him to concede — despite the fact that less than an hour earlier, her campaign manager had announced they weren’t conceding yet.

“I congratulated her and her family on a very, very hard fought campaign,” he said. “She fought very hard … and we owe her a major debt of gratitude for her service to our country.”

Then, he showed us that he has suddenly learned the pronouns “we,” “us,” and “our” instead of “me,” “I,” and “my.”

“Now it’s time for America to bind the wounds of division and get together,” he said. “It’s time for us to come together as one united people.”

Trump then made promises about infrastructure and alluded to bringing jobs back.

“The incredible men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer,” he said.

After thanking his family, he talked about how difficult the campaign trail had been: “This political stuff is nasty and it’s tough.”

Yeah, Trump, you’re telling us.

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