10 boy band songs you didn’t realize were f*ckboy anthems
Close your eyes and think about your favorite boy band song of all time.
Isn’t it dreamy? Don’t they all just seem like nice young men you want to bone forever and ever?
Girl, wake up.
Boy bands aren’t sweethearts all the time. Because at the end of the day, they’re not just boys, they’re rich, hot, entitled boys. They know they can walk into any club and get any woman they want without having to do anything. Or at least that’s what the world keeps telling them.
While most of the time boy bands keep this side of themselves a secret, every now and then they get to sing a song about their hidden truths.
Here are 10 classic boy band songs you never realized were fuckboy anthems.
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1. “You Like Me Too Much” – The Beatles
Everybody likes to remember The Beatles as saints, but that’s not accurate. Especially when it comes to John Lennon, who cheated on his first wife Cynthia all the damn time and used to hit “any woman” if he felt pissed off enough. They may be the greatest band of all time, but sometimes they were also typical musicians: shitty.
And in some of their earlier songs, The Beatles let their fuckboy flag fly high.
Take, “You Like Me Too Much,” for example.
The song’s a straightforward story about a girl who gets involved in a toxic relationship with a guy who treats her like shit.
“Though you’ve gone away this morning / you’ll be back again tonight / telling me there’ll be no next time if I don’t treat you right,” the song begins, before the boys admit that if she left, it would be what they deserved.
But in the end it doesn’t matter because no matter what BS the boys put this girl through, she’s gonna stick around. Because “you like me too much.”
Plus if she did leave, the boys promise they’d just find her and make her date them again.
Spoken like true manipulative assholes.
2. “I’ll Get You” – The Beatles
The chase is part of the fun in any new relationship, but what happens when the girl in question doesn’t want to be chased?
Common sense says that you should cut your losses and stop pursuing her, but professional fuckboys never say never.
After telling the girl in question that she should just pretend they’re in love with her, they say she “might as well resign yourself” because “I’ll get you in the end.”
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3. “Up Against the Wall” – NSYNC
“Up Against the Wall” literally begins with Justin Timberlake half-rapping the words, “you know we don’t care at all / that night we see you up up against the wall.”
And that just about says it all.
While in pretty much all their other songs, the guys get to play heartbroken guys or earnest Romeos who’ll promise their beloved the moon, here they just get to be a group of twenty-something guys prowling for a booty to rub their dicks against in public.
They see a hot girl in the club, grind up against her all night, and then instead of getting her number or buying her a drink, they’re just like, “deuces, babe.”
Sounds accurate enough.
4. “The Call” – Backstreet Boys
This song isn’t the fuckboy anthem the previous three songs have been, but it’s still a song about a guy who cheats on his girlfriend and feels bad about it, but…
Basically what happens is the guys are at a club, they see a hot girl, start taking to said hot girl, and then instead of being like, “uhhhhh JK, I have a gf,” they call up their gf and say, “Don’t worry. I will be late, don’t stay up and wait for me.”
And then instead of immediately telling the girlfriend the next day, the shit heads just kept it themselves. Well, that is until their friend found out and decided to narc them out.
Sorry, but if you’re really trying to sell how sorry you are, you have to at least be man enough to tell your girlfriend the truth before your best friend does.
5. “Summer Girls” – LFO
White boys who rap are pretty much automatically fuckboys and the Lite Funky Ones are no exception.
If you ever meet a guy who think’s it’s smooth to use the line, “you look like a girl who wears Abercrombie & Fitch,” run.
6. “Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche)” – 98º
Growing up, you may not have realized this song was about begging a girl for a one night stand, but now that you’re older, it’s pretty damn clear.
Literally the whole song is just the boys saying things like, “your lips keep telling me you want me” and “I can see it in your eyes.” It’s just a collection of corny pick-up lines.
And if we’re to assume the “sexy female interlude” wasn’t just their fantasy, then the sad truth is that the corny lines worked.
But then again, YOLO.
Crony lines don’t matter if the guy is hot and you just want a one night stand too.
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7. “Liquid Dreams” – O-town
Literally only a fuckboy would have the audacity to dream about how he has wet dreams about this super hot girl he made up in his mind.
8. “Live While We’re Young” – One Direction
“Live While We’re Young” does nothing to hide the fact that it’s all about the lengths a guy will go to get a girl to sleep with him.
The song starts innocently enough with Liam imploring a girl to let him sneak her out of her house so they can have a “celebration,” but from there it starts to get a little bit sketchy.
“I know we only met but let’s pretend it’s love,” the boys gleefully say in the chorus, before admitting their goal for the night is to “get some and live while we’re young.”
And then, because believe it or not that still hasn’t convinced the girl to get up and go with them, Zayn puts the pressure on saying, “hey girl, it’s now or never / it’s now or never / don’t overthink just let it go.”
But for good measure, he also adds a warning: if they “get together / don’t ever let the pictures leave your phone,” because that always makes girls want to drop their panties.
Don’t let the fact that the boys are frolicking alone in the wilderness fool you, this song is skeezy with a capital S.
9. “Little Things” – One Direction
On first listen, “Little Things” is nothing but an over-the-top marketing ploy, which features the boys repeating over and over again that “I’m in love with you,” to the hoards of their rabid teenage fans.
But listen a little closer and you’ll see it’s actually a negging anthem.
Because even though the boys keep talking about how in love with you they are, first they make sure to mention all the things that are wrong with you. Like the “crinkles by your eyes, your stomach, your thighs, and the “sound of your voice on tape.”
Although they’re quick to point out that they actually love these so-called flaws and wouldn’t even think of them as flaws, they still brought them up in the first place.
Because they know that you’re insecure about them.
And that’s how negging works. Guys say something that makes you feel insecure about yourself which in turn makes you want to try harder to keep them interested in you.
Although of course, when One Direction negs girls, they’re not doing it so they can sleep with them, they’re doing it so those girls will want to keep buying their albums and being obsessed with them.
But sadly, teenage girls probably won’t ever realize that’s what One Direction is doing with the song, which is exactly what makes “Little Things” so insidious.
Still, don’t be mad at One Direction for singing this song. Be mad at Ed Sheeran for writing it.
People say he’s such a nice guy, but he’s just like Taylor Swift, once you start to look closely, you’ll start to find some sus things.
10. “Perfect” – One Direction
Funny how One Direction keeps popping up, right?
Maybe it’s because they were reared in the golden age of fuckboy antics, but a lot of their songs just aren’t that innocent. Although in the case of “Perfect,” it could also just be an example of the boys desperately trying to grow up seeing as it was one of their last singles before they broke up. I mean, went on an indefinite hiatus.
In a lot of ways “Perfect” is a brother song to “Live While We’re Young.” Only smoother and less juvenile-sounding.
Right as the song begins, the boys make their intentions clear saying, “I might not be the kind of guy you take home to mama” but “I can be the one tonight.”
But “Perfect” isn’t just a song about the lines the guys use to score one night stands, it’s just a song about how they’re the kinds of guys who everybody knows are no good.
They’re not “good at making promises,” they like to “cause trouble up in hotel rooms,” and most importantly, they love to “do the things you know we shouldn’t do.”
Essentially, the song’s one giant humble brag about how they’re all giant fuckboys, but who cares because you’re going to sleep with them anyway. Or at least you’ll sleep with Harry Styles.
And honestly, it’s hard to fault their logic there.
Who wouldn’t want to sleep with Harry Styles?
Plus there’s the added layer that the chorus of “Perfect” sounds super similar to the chorus of Taylor Swift’s song “Style,” a song that practically begged the world to ask if it was about Harry Styles.
It’s a cheekily petty move, and if you’re into that sort of thing, it’ll score these boys some extra points in your book.