Which cousin are you at Thanksgiving dinner?
Thanksgiving is that special time of year where you get to gather with your politically problematic aunts and uncles and a bunch of cousins who besides this, you really only see when someone gets married or on Facebook.
You might think you’re the “normal cousin,” but the truth is we’re all annoying in our own special ways. So now it’s time to take inventory and see which kind of cousin are you. Figure it out below!
1. The antisocial one
You were hiding in the living room but then everyone found you there, now you’re hiding in the backyard. You’re pretty much just migrating around the house avoiding people. But we totally get that because who wants to answer the question “what are you doing after college” fifteen times? Just keep nodding your head and saying uh-huh, yes, thank you in that order and you’ll be fine.
2. The stoned one
You went on a walk around the block before dinner and now you seem really interested in the food. You’re kind of just content to eat and smile, it’s almost like you don’t even notice anything going on around you. Except food. Pie. Go smoke again. You have Thanksgiving all figured out, the other cousins could really learn from you!
3. The drunk one
This could be you! And it’s very different from the stoned one. You went right for the liquor cabinet and hey, why not? Thou shall not pass up free booze: one of the primary tenets of the holiday season. Maybe it will make dinner conversation more bearable, or maybe you will knock over the turkey in a heated debate, who knows. You’re kind of a loose cannon and at this point it really could go either way.
4. The successful one
You’re home from medical school and you’re wearing a collared shirt. Chances are you no longer have a roommate and you stopped drinking wine out of a box. Bravo! Now you’re making all of the other cousins feel bad.
5. The one that brought home her boyfriend
Bringing your two-month boyfriend home for Thanksgiving, what a triumph. Now when someone asks if you have a boyfriend you can yell, “Charles!” and drag him from the other room and make him socialize with you. Literal proof. And when you break up by next year and everyone asks where he is you can just make up some weird excuse like he moved to another country to work on a farm and nobody will probably care to question it. You probably never have to answer the boyfriend question again now, good work.
6. The one who nobody can remember
Are you a first cousin? A second cousin twice removed? It’s kind of hard to say. You’re kind of just along for the ride. When people call you Laura instead of Lauren you probably won’t correct them because you don’t remember their name either. Maybe you can hangout with the stoned one for some mental support.