7 Things We Learned About Blac Chyna’s Mom From Her Website
As soon as we saw a picture that proved Blac Chyna’s mom came out to the strip club to celebrate her daughter’s engagement to Rob Kardashian, we knew we had to learn everything about her.
Since her Instagram account is private, we had no choice but to go to her website (which, UPDATE: is currently down) for information.
Honestly, in a different world Blac Chyna’s mom a.k.a. Shalana Jones Hunter a.k.a. Tokyo Toni would probably be friends with Kris Jenner. Because just like Kris, Tokyo Toni would do anything for her children, seems to ache for her own reality show, and is a larger than life character.
But in this world, Tokyo has used Instagram to call Kris an “azzhole” and accuse her, illuminati-like, of orchestrating Blac Chyna’s recent airport arrest. And she’s got a truly one-of-a-kind webpage full of details on her burgeoning personal brand.
Here are some of our favorite things that we found out about her on the site.
1. She loves “Work” just as much as you do
The home screen for her website is blank and will play Rihanna and Drake’s hit song on an endless loop because Tokyo Toni knows that’s how you like it.
2. She’s not afraid to share very specific, personal details about herself
For instance, in her “News and Reviews” section, Tokyo Toni lets us know that not only is she afraid to ride roller coasters, including the kids ones, but that she also doesn’t go to movies because she falls asleep every time.
Don’t you feel like you know her now?
3. Some of her favorite things include wrapping herself in towels, drinking white wine and reading James Petterson novels
4. She’s currently casting an independent movie based on her life.
If you’re an actor or actress between the ages of 5 and 65 who doesn’t mind not getting paid, you should def hit her up. Or, if acting’s not your thing, feel free to submit your music for the soundtrack. For $35 Tokyo Toni will listen to one song, and for $300, she’ll listen to a full CD. No, seriously. That’s what it says.
Also, if you need help getting down to Atlanta for an audition, simply use the “store” section of her website to purchase a round-trip bus ticket for $250.
5. She’s not to be messed with.
According to her “Blog Spot” section:
“You better pack a fucking lunch if you ever come for me! Don’t ever run up on no line I am on. Invisible to you clear to me! I don’t like fake ass people. I don’t have a big circle it’s suffocatingly (small). Get it or nah. I mind my business until called up. If I didn’t or don’t send for you never come!
This is the only blog post she has ever written.
6. She has a lot of advice on what to do with your cheating boyfriend/romantic “trub trub” in general
“Do I need to write this motherf*ckin shit down?”
7. She hates the Kardashians more than Rob does
In the “Partners” section of her website, she has numerous videos where a dedicated to slamming Khloé Kardashian and sharing her belief that Kris Jenner had something to do with Blac Chyna getting arrested at the airport that one time.
Because she gives “zero f*cks.”
Oh, and did we mention that one of the videos sound like it’s being narrated by a lady robot?
Have you fallen in love yet?