Tasha Reign: I’m Dating a Guy Who Got Catfished by My Imposter
Once upon a time in a land far far away called Los Angeles, there lived a cute young chap, let’s call him Johnny.
He was just like any other 27-year-old stud looking for a connection out in the lonely world, on a platform called Facebook. He was approached by a strange new human species called the “Catfish,” one that I don’t feel the need to familiarize you internet experts with.
Okay okay, I’ll start from the very beginning. Remember the article I wrote about being a dating app predator? Well, I’m still frequenting the apps and I recently discovered a unique one called “The League,” which I highly recommend. I matched with a really sweet, super hot guy who caught my attention right away. A former fraternity brother with blonde hair, blue eyes, and sharp wit, he definitely qualified for a first date.
But before asking me out, he mentioned he’d previously texted and sexted me. In fact, he said he had my number and we’d made plans to meet up, that I had apparently bailed on.
I was immediately creeped out and made that pretty clear with angry emojis and a mini paragraph about how I was an adult model and people steal my photos all the time. That was nothing new. The back pages, ads, online nonsense about prostitution — my photos and those of others in similar professions are being used illegally, its not always lucrative to sue or to try to go after the creep who posts them.
But what I didn’t know: Johnny had interacted with this person who claimed to be me. A lot. And I didn’t find that out until the third date. Our first date went smoothly enough, a casual drink/appetizer meet-up at a local joint.
I enjoyed our conversation and I ended up really opening up to him about stuff I wouldn’t usually convey on a first date. I also felt like I had known him for a while, or more specifically in retrospect, that he had known me for a while. I even kissed him at the end of our date, which I don’t usually do and I was into it.
He asked me out for a second date and I ended up having so much fun spending time with him that I spent the night and the entire next day with him. That’s when Johnny decided to open up to me and drop the bomb that could only happen in 2016 via the dark interwebs and in spooky L.A. county.
Towards the end of our date on Saturday, technically our third date, we were sitting in the sand and discussing work. I hadn’t specified yet that I do porn. Not because I was hiding the fact, but because I assumed if it hadn’t been brought up yet, then he knew. Or I had a very small thought that maybe he didn’t know and was just not that curious about how I was paying bills, but that percentage in my mind was microscopic, and I do not prefer to lead with that topic.
I alluded to the fact I had modeled as a centerfold and he blurted out, “I KNOW YOU DO PORN.” I was taken aback and a little perturbed, but all in all I felt as though the conversation should happen and there’s no time like the present. Instead of the normal conversation, though, it took a quick turn into unloading this dark and hidden secret that he had apparently been suppressing for the last 48 hours: the tale of the catfish.
First of all, up until this moment and even 25 more minutes into this continued conversation in his bedroom, Johnny still thought I was potentially the person he had had a virtual relationship with for over two months via text, over a year prior to this moment. Even though I had told him otherwise, he wasn’t solidly convinced. Oddly, as much as I relayed to him that the creep was not me, he still had a strong and persistent desire to believe it was.
Johnny told me he been approached by someone with my real name on Facebook and that they exchanged direct contact information, except — red flag — her phone number came from an email address, a very convincing email address in fact, my actual one minus a digit.
He then asked if I wanted to see the back and forth banter and of course I was thrilled. I read every word and totally empathized with him, as she or he was so specific and convincing. Not only did the catfish use my real information found online, but she stole my most candid photos off of social media and my most realistic amateur videos and sent those. She was careful to add day to day photographs that looked like I was in the moment decorating pumpkins, or out at New Year’s parties with my girlfriends.
I could tell he actually believed it and was attracted to this personality she played. It was all very disturbing. On the bright side, Johnny asked my impersonator questions about herself and how she was doing, conveying a real interest in her as a person and not just someone he wanted to bang. I saw the stolen identity firsthand, viewing the catfish’s dirty work and Johnny’s previous text messages filled with plenty of conversation around family and friends, stepmothers and drama, weird statements that seemed so real.
That made me start to question everything. What if he only like me for this person he thought that I was? How can anyone really live up to an online image, let alone a catfish image?
I already have such a protective guard up against people I meet online or even in person because of the work I do, having someone want to be with me for the wrong reasons is a constant fear. This just perpetuated that in real time and in a very dramatic way. Upset and angered, I wanted to get out of this conversation and apartment as fast as possible, especially when I read the part about him attending a coworker’s set because he knew the director. Worried he had only talked to me because he had now been watching my videos and that he thought I was the catfish he had been speaking with, I was truly disturbed.
Luckily, he saw through my impulse reactions and asked to walk with me to Starbucks and explained how thankful he was that he was able to unload this information on me because it had been building up and making him feel as though he needed to tell me something that he didn’t quite feel comfortable revealing to me right off the bat. Although a part of me was thrilled to have this new detective information, another very real part of me was annoyed and confused. I consulted my girlfriends about the event and details and they told me that he seemed like a nice guy and to give him a chance.
I also found it brave of him to reveal this odd story and continue to want to hang out. We have a fourth date planned out tomorrow, which I’m super excited for. I can’t wait to get back to beach to bask in the sun in heavenly California. We will see where this goes and I will keep my precious Galore readers posted on what is to come. Who knows, a catfish could ultimately be my perfect matchmaker, how ironic! 🙂
XOXOXO, LOVE TASHA