Spencer Pratt’s Everyday Routine Is Legitimately Insane

Thanks to InStyle, we now know that everyday of his life Spencer Pratt wakes up and says to himself, “Gee, I think I’ll be insane today.”

In case you couldn’t tell from the influx of The Hills on almost every website you regularly read, the show you loved to secretly binge watch is exactly one week away from celebrating its 10-year anniversary.

The magazine celebrated by catching up with the show’s biggest stars and creative team to compile an oral history of the show, from its humble beginnings as a way to finance Lauren Conrad’s college education to what in the hell those crazy kids are up to now.

And there’s no crazier kid than Spencer Pratt, who apparently follows the same mad routine every day of his life.

“Every morning, I make two 32-gram shots of Zip Singer espresso. I used to have a breakfast burrito every day, but now I have an apple with almond butter, because I want to be model skinny. Then I usually do jujitsu for about an hour and a half, then I eat salmon. Then I go home, ice my old man knees, watch Apple TV, and tweet, because I don’t have any actual friends to talk to. Then Heidi and I will either get sushi or Mexican food and I’ll have some tequila on ice. I keep that in rotation.

Honestly, it’s hard to unpack which part of his daily routine is the most LOL.

Is it the fact that he only eats an apple with almond butter because he wants to be model skinny, or is it because he tweets in the afternoon after years of playing a villain on TV, he no longer has any real friends to speak of?

Read the whole thing for even more entertaining tidbits, but consider yourself warned: it doesn’t get better than this.

[H/T Instyle

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