Selena Gomez Subtly Shows GQ Interviewer What a Creep He Is

Today, GQ released a new celebrity profile/interview about Selena Gomez called “The Emancipation Of Selena Gomez.” And in it, Selena proves herself as an incredibly elegant boss bitch who’s capable of showing creepy interviewers  how creepy they are without even seeming rude about it.

Early on in the interview, the writer makes note that Selena’s 74 million Instagram followers are filled with “an unsettlingly large contingent of adult men, whose motivations she surely would prefer not to think about.”

A few paragraphs later, he goes on to describe Selena in a way that lumps him in with that contingent:

Her hair is as glossy as a dolphin’s tail. She’s got on a snug neutral-color sweater that she’s sweating through—it’s evident, you can see the twin damp patches that people like Selena Gomez aren’t supposed to have. She keeps apologizing for it, which is heartbreaking, as if she needs to ask for permission to be human like the rest of us.”

Yes, it’s a writer’s job to describe moments in rich enough details that any given reader can imagine them into being, and yes this description satisfies those requirements, but GLOSSY AS A DOLPHIN’S TAIL? Come on, man.

Like why couldn’t he just say that her hair was as glossy as it looks like in her Pantene commercials? Why did he have to compare her mane to a dolphin’s water-slicked tail? And why did he have to bring up that he could see “twin damp patches” of Selena’s sweat through her “snug” sweater?

But don’t worry, Selena got her moment of payback later on while she was talking about how child celebrities are easy and interesting targets for grown adults to puzzle over.

“We’re easy targets. Every single kid who was brought up like this is an easy target. It’s disgusting, because it’s interesting to grown adults that these kids go through weird things because they’re figuring out, ‘Do I like this? Do I love this? Maybe I love this person…’ There’s a difference between being a fan — there’s a difference between that and what you have to do.”

And by you, Selena Gomez clearly means male adults like the writer who’s interviewing her. To his credit, the comparison is not lost on him, and it makes for the most compelling part of the interview.

“It’s dawning on me that the you here is not generic, but very, very specific — she’s talking to me. The you who’s sitting in front of her, pushing mid-30s, asking her questions that she’d prefer not to answer, raising subjects that she’d prefer not to talk about.”

Which brings up the question: is the writer aware of his creepiness the whole time, emphasizing it to bring about a more dramatic revelation at the interview’s climax? Or does he still not realize that the “damp patches” and “snug sweater” moment is part of the problem?

Ultimately, we’ll never know and ultimately it doesn’t matter. What’s clear is that most grown men’s default mode when looking at young female celebrities — or hot young females in general — is “creepy af,” and that’s not lost on Selena Gomez.

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