Scott Disick Tried to Cure His ‘Kardashian Kurse’ on KUWTK Last Night
Last night, perpetual fuckboy Scott Disick decided to come clean about the best-kept secret regarding the Kardashian clan.
Once you date them, you get cursed.
In last night’s episode of Keeping up With the Kardashians, Scott made Kendall visit a card reader with him to prove that he wasn’t being a crazy psycho when he said he had a curse on him. It was a totally bonkers plotline, reminiscent of the time the gals found a homeless man behind the Dash store and gave him a makeover.
In fact, as he explained to the card reader, it’s not just him who’s gotten cursed, but “anybody’s that’s dated a Kardashian…has gotten cursed. There’s something going on in the water.”
Since this is TV, the psychic whole-heartedly agreed with Scott, and told him that in order to get rid of the curse he needed to make a sacrificial offering with a rooster while dressed head-to-toe in white and then follow that ghastly slaughter with a calming herbal bath.
It’s unclear whether she was messing with him, or actually being serious.
Still, the perpetual fuckboy went ahead and bought a rooster anyway, who like any rational creature decided that after knowing Scott for a few hot seconds, it didn’t want anything to do with him.
Luckily for the rooster, that’s as far as this madness got a chance to go because once Kim and Kourtney found out about it, they shut that shit down fast.
“It’s not real,” Kim, the good cop, told him. “I’m offended!”
“You blame your actions on something else, somebody else,” bad cop Kourtney added. “You just always have an excuse for everything.”
To his credit, Scott eventually came to his senses, admitting, “You know, I may have gotten a little caught up with this curse thing and maybe taken it a little too far. Maybe there’s not a curse, and maybe I should stop with the excuses.”
What happened to the rooster is anybody’s guess, but let’s just focus on the obvious positive here, okay?
Scott Disick is cursed and the Kardashians aren’t going to let him do anything about it anytime soon.