Who the F Still Does the Atkins Diet? Kim Kardashian, That’s Who

Reality TV star and body fat slayer Kim Kardashian West finally ~*reached her goal weight*~ today and let a bomb drop: she’s on the Atkins diet!

That’s right, America’s foremost baby-weight-shedder is on a diet that hasn’t been hot since Sex and the City was still on TV. It kind of makes you wonder: why did we all stop doing the Atkins diet, and should we start again?

For the uninitiated, the Atkins diet has good news and bad news: the bad news is you can only eat 30 grams of carbs per day. The good news is that translates into unlimited bacon.

A typical day on the Atkins diet might include a veggie-and-bacon-laden omelet for breakfast, a salad with meats and cheese for lunch, and grilled chicken with non-starchy veggies on the side for dinner. Oh, and some constipation-inducing Atkins-brand four-carb cheesecake for dessert. It’s brutal and you can never eat French fries or real desserts again. That’s probably why everyone stopped doing it.

So, should you do the Atkins diet? Only if your body agrees with it. For some people, like me, it just doesn’t work — I tried it several times in high school and would end up woozy and exhausted. My mom also couldn’t handle it and would have to get B12 shots just to get through the day.

A friend of mine, though, lost 60 pounds doing Atkins back in the day and felt great the whole time, enabling her to fit into the finest mid-2000s shredded denim Abercrombie miniskirts. Here’s what she had to say:

It worked for me because I like not having to think about what I can have. Like there’s just a set list of “no” foods and “yes” foods. Diets where you can have a little of something don’t work for me because I lack self control. Like, stopping at 15 potato chips is a joke. I have more self control if I just tell myself, “No, you can’t have any potato chips.”

It worked for me because I was still young when I did it. It was easier for me to focus on my diet because all I had to worry about was my diet and high school. Also, my dad always did a variation of Atkins, so my mom would keep Atkins-friendly meals available and snacks.

The pre-packaged garbage they sell now isn’t the real Atkins. In fact, I think Dr. Atkins, who invented the diet, is rolling in his grave every time Sharon Osbourne does a commercial for “Atkins Pizza.”

I lost 60+ pounds. But as I got older, I mixed the Atkins diet with carbs so I screwed myself. I was still eating a ton of cheese and bacon and then still eating minimal carbs. It doesn’t work like that. Carbs and dairy aren’t good for you together.

So if you don’t mind restricting yourself a LOT — as in never, ever, ever having dessert — the Atkins diet could work for you. It also helps to be rich and have access to chefs like Kim does, I’m sure.

Gimme More POP

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