Iran Is Pretty Sure Kim Kardashian Is an Instagram Spy
Okay, so we’re not exactly sure where Iran got its intel, but they’re pretty confident that Kim Kardashian is a spy.
And not just any spy, but the really dangerous kind. You know, the kind who works for Instagram.
Allow us to explain.
Yesterday, Vanity Fair reported that the Iranian Revolutionary Guards Corp, an agency in charge of policing domestic culture, is pretty sure Kim has a top secret mission from Instagram to make people want to live materialistic, secular, sensual lives.
According to Mostafa Alizadeh, spokesman for the Revolutionary Guard’s Organized Cyperspace Crime Unit, phase one of Instagram’s CEO Kevin Systrom and Kim Kardashian’s mission is to make fashion modeling a thing in Iran, because obviously modeling is a gateway drug to sin.
“Ms. Kim Kardashian is a popular fashion model, so Instagram’s C.E.O. tells her, ‘Make this native.’ There is no doubt that financial support is involved as well,” Mostafa said, adding, “We are taking this very seriously.”
Not to be a stickler or anything, but we can’t help notice how Mostafa seems a little confused with his Kardashian info. Allow us to help, bb.
Kendall Jenner is the popular fashion model, Kim is just popular.
Joking aside, though, this conspiracy theory has at least a little bit of truth to it.
Namely, Kevin Systrom and Kim Kardashian know each other, hang out occasionally, and not to be cynical or anything, but they definitely brainstorm ways to promote both their brands at the same time.
Still, even though Kim’s 100% not a secret Instagram spy, she should probably postpone any future visits to Armenia for the foreseeable future.
Iran and Armenia just so happen to share a border, and if they really think she’s a spy, what’s to stop them from calling up their homes in the Armenian government to set a kidnapping into motion?
Does anybody else smell a new James Bond movie plot line, or is that just us?
[H/T Vanity Fair]