KhloÃ© Kardashian Accurately Compares Kris Jenner To Jesus Christ
In the wake of the devastating news that “Kocktails With KhloÃ©“Â was canceled, it was hard to watch the most recent episode which aired last night.
Sike. Actually, it was really easy to watch because during the episode KhloÃ© compared her motherÂ to Jesus Christ, which is everything we didnâ€™t know we ever wanted to hear.
While reminiscing about the harsh struggles of her youth, KhloÃ© reminded us all that there was a timeÂ whenÂ â€œno real manager or agentâ€ would touch her or her sisters with a ten foot pole.
â€œTheyâ€™d be like, what the f*ck do you guys do?â€
Yeah, what did they do? Well, they prayed to their patron saint/momager who â€œkind of turned water into wine,â€ as KhloÃ© put it, and ended up makingÂ her daughters the most famous women alive.Â
Yes, Kris Jenner, turning water (un-famous daughters) into wine (famous daughters) just like Jesus did, since ’06. Or probably earlier! We’ve seen the tapes.
BTW, the similarities between Kris and Jesus don’t end there. Kris is also the cofounder ofÂ her own church. Glory be!
KhloÃ© did reveal however that unlike Jesus Christ, Kris doesnâ€™t have the ability to perform miracles with the power invested in her from on high, so she made all the girls wake up at 7 a.m.Â even â€œon weekendsâ€ and in â€œthe summer.â€
Meanwhile Rob got to do whatever he wanted, and we’ve all seen how well that turned out.
So there you go. Kris Jenner is the modern day Jesus and all is right with the world. Well, besides the fact that “Kocktails With KhloÃ©“ is canceled. Weâ€™re still upset about that one.