Justin Bieber Thinks Awards Shows Are Fake, Hollow Garbage Now
Roughly 16 hours ago, Justin Bieber went to an award show.
Coincidentally, an hour ago he went on to post a mini-essay on Instagram about how awards shows are nothing but fake, hollow garbage.
Gee, do you think he’s talking about anything in particular?
Like any good essayist, Justin wastes zero time getting to his thesis statement. In fact, he eschews the traditional introductory paragraph, and gets right to the point.
“I don’t know about these awards shows.. No disrespect to anybody at any of the shows or the people running it…but I don’t feel good when I’m there nor after. I try to think of it as a celebration but can’t help feeling like people are rating and grading my performance.”
Us? When have we ever had anything to say about something you’ve done at an award show?
Or wait, are you talking about your fellow celebrities? Because we’re sure they’d never shade one of their peers’ performances.
After indicting all of us for willingly participating in a system where we gleefully take each other down, he went on to call out his peers for being phony ass motherfuckers.
“A lot of people in the audience there to be seem worried about how much camera time they will get or who they can network with. When I’m doing a regular show I feel they are there for the right reasons and to strictly have a good time! But these award shows seem so hollow. I get the premise is to award people for their accomplishments, but is it really? Because when I look in the audience I see a bunch of fake smiles so that when the camera hits them they look happy.”
And then Justin did what he does best: he brought things back to himself and his pursuit of a way of life that Jesus would definitely approve of.
“I just think to myself if I’m living my purpose I want the reward to be fufillment. I’m getting awarded for the things that I’m doing and not for who I am which is understandable I know it would probably be hard to calculate and award someone’s spirit lol. But when I do get these awards the temptation of putting my worth in what I do is so hard to fight!!!!”
Finally, reflecting the pull he undoubtably feels between being a rebel with(out) a cause and being a good Canadian boy, Justin Bieber ends his essay with an apology, and then takes it back, because he’s hard like that.
“There’s an authenticity missing that I crave! And I wonder does anybody else… Sorry not sorry about grammar it’s not my strong point”
While it can be hard to take Justin Bieber seriously at times, it’s impossible to resist the urge to want to give him a high five right now, because he’s right. Awards shows are garbage, and often painfully boring/awkward to watch. It’s nice to see that even though Justin is spending his off hours walking barefoot through Boston and climbing trees to commune with the squirrels, he’s still on his way to becoming a better/real person.
Still, we’re still not quite sure why the castle and the sheep.
Justin, some Cliff Notes please?
