How To Make Joints That Are Also Sparklers (Because Why Not)

The 4th of July is a time to put aside all of our differences and celebrate the day that our fledgling nation of crazy ass Puritans became legit.

Or you know, just celebrate the fact that you got a full day off of work to get drunk with your friends and eat a lot of food.

And what better way to celebrate BOTH of these things than by rolling some joints that are also sparklers?

Sure, it’s a little dangerous, but who ever have fun by playing it safe?  After all, this is America: land of the free, home of the brave, and birthplace of the YOLO.

Here’s what you need:

1. One lighter
2. One cigarette (in case you wanna make your j a spliffy poo)
3. A rolling paper
4. Something to make a filter out of (like actual filters or card stock, if you’re feeling SUPER DIY)
5. A grinder
And last but certainly not least
6. Marijuana

Alright, now here’s what you need to do to get rolling

1. Pick up your lighter.  Hold it to the light and take a moment to thank it for all the good times its enabled you to have.  It works hard so you can get high, and I bet you’ve never said thank you to it before.  Now, gently roll the flint wheel back and forth until you gather a substantial mount of “sparkle dust”.  Be careful not to actually light your lighter though.

2. Pretend that “sparkler dust” is cocaine cocoa powder and cut yourself a fat line.

3. Set that aside, put on a good music video, and roll yourself a nice ole j.  If you don’t know how to roll, there’s no time like the present to pick up a new skill – practice makes perfect, but this tutorial should help you come up with something that’ll do the trick.


4. Rub your finger against your tongue (just a light sprinkling will do) and run your dampened finger from the top of your joint down to its base in a vertical line.

5. Set the wet part of your j down in your “sparkler dust” and make sure it picks up enough to count.

6. Repeat steps 4-5 at least three more times.  You want this joint to really sparkle after all.

7.  Light it up and get ready for one of the most memorable smoking experiences of your life.

Happy 4th of July, y’all.


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