How to wear red, white & blue without looking Trumpy

Dressing like you’re proud to be an American is a 4th of July tradition, but now that ol’ Trumpy’s in office, it’s enough to give anybody pause before putting together an Americana outfit.

Because god forbid you give anybody the wrong idea about who you voted for last November.

Although TBH, it’s pretty easy to wear red, white and blue without looking like a Trump supporter.

As a general rule of thumb, as long as you don’t wear anything that makes you look like the kind of old money that spends their 4th of July on a yacht or at the country club, you should be fine, but here are our expert recommendations.

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Something thotty

Obviously Trump supports come in all shapes and sexual proclivities, but as a general rule of thumb, if you’re wearing something thotty people are gonna assume you’re not conservative enough to vote for Trump. Which is a good thing because it’s hot outside and who wants to be wearing clothes anyway?

The “I see Cali, I see Arkansas, I see home girl’s underpants” dress


Nothing says “I am thot, hear me roar” like a see-through dress. Plus this dress gives you the perfect excuse to wear those star-spangled panties you thought you’d never get a chance to wear IRL.

Buy it here.

The putting it all out there top


Or if you don’t feel like showing that much skin because you got burnt like a lobster the day before, just wear a shirt that drops all the hints.

Buy it here.

Something baseball-y

There’s nothing more American than baseball. Well, there is, but you know what I mean. Even though sports can be kind of lame, there are ways to c0-opt any boring fashion trend and make it cute. Plus it lets boys know you’re not afraid of balls! Bonus.

The is that a baseball uniform, or are you just being chic?


This two-piece set kind of looks like a baseball uniform, kind of looks like PJs, and if you exchanged that black tube top for a blue one, it would look patriotic af.

Buy it here.

The boyfriend baseball dress


Baseball uniforms look cute AF if it looks like you’re wearing the jersey of whichever guy you went home with last night. Everybody will think you got to fourth base and then some.

Buy it here.

Something political

Obviously the easiest way to wear red, white & blue without looking like a Trump supporter is to wear something that makes you look like a liberal.

It can be as easy as throwing on a Planned Parenthood hat or as involved as making your own shirt that says, “proud to be an embarrassment” over an airbrushed American flag with a bald eagle with its head in its hands.

The “are we living in a dystopian universe already?” hat


Not even a little subtle.

Buy it here.

The “who do you think I voted for?” shirt


Again, nothing subtle to see here.

Buy it here.

Something star-centric

The American flag is made up of stars and stripes, and while there’s something about stripes that seem inherently conservative/French, stars won’t give anybody the wrong idea.

The are those stars, or are you just happy to see me top


Your nipples are stars and the world should know.

Buy it here.

The Ima star choker


This necklace is a little costume-y, but it’s simple enough that you should be able to find ten million more outfits to wear it with.

Buy it here.

Biker chick chic

Bikers are American AF and while some of the real ones may secretly be as conservative as the mom who makes your apple pie, there’s nothing conservative about an all-American bad girl.

The born to be wild backpack

See that bald eagle? Yeah, that’s freedom right there.

Buy it here.

The pop my cherry biker hat


Hats are kinda iffy, but if biker caps are good enough for Bella Hadid, then they’re good enough to be everywhere in a season. Which is perfect for you. By the time they’ve caught on, you can sell your hat to Buffalo Exchange and pick up some extra bucks to buy yourself a latte.

Buy it here.

Fashion-forward cowboy

Lots of cowboys voted for Trump, but cowboy as an aesthetic is coming back into fashion, so as long as what you’re wearing looks like it came out of an *NSYNC music video, you’ll be Gucci.

The bandana boho top


Whether you’re a little bit country or a little bit rock and roll, this flouncy feminine top is just the fashion your stylist ordered.

Buy it here.

The save a horse, ride a cowboy hat


Blood red chic.

Buy it here.

Keep it basic

Wear denim on bottom and wear an on-trend white or red top. As long as you don’t look like you’re on your way to the country club, the only assumption anybody will make about you is that you’re not that one girl at the party wearing all black because you don’t do themes.

The red red wine dress


Dresses aren’t as in fashion as they usually are in the summer, but we all need a good casual dress in our arsenal or two. But don’t pair it with an oversized hat. Mostly because it’ll be hot outside and you’ll want to kill yourself.

Buy it here.

The blue jean bb skort


You can’t go wrong with denim on the bottom. It’s blue, you can buy it anywhere, and it’s classic Americana at its most comfortable. Unless it’s a pair of denim shorts shorts, in which case your vagina will hate you for the rest of the day.

And while we’re at it, let’s talk about the brilliance of wearing a red, white or blue bandana tied around your neck like a bougie ass artsy person. It’s a sneaky ass way to let the world know you’re a liberal but the chic kind who don’t dress like their purse is overflowing with granola at all time.

Not that granola liberals can’t have a good sense of style, but let’s be real. Oftentimes they don’t.

Buy it here.

The ice ice tank top


Ice Ice bb indeed.

Buy it here.

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