Disney Decided to Ruin Your Favorite 90s Christina Aguilera Song
Remember back in the 90s when all the baby pop stars like Britney Spears, *NYSNC, and Christina Aguilera had all these seemingly innocent songs that were not-so-secretly dripping with sexual over/undertones?
You do? Cool.
So the good news is, Disney does too. The bad news is they want to ruin it with sanitized, G-rated covers.
Meet Dove Cameron.
A photo posted by ♡DOVE♡ (@dovecameron) on
She’s 20 years old, mildly adorable, and she’s been on Disney’s payroll since 2012 when they cast her in some show about identical twins called Liv and Maddie.
Now that’s she’s grown, Dove wants to be a pop star so Disney thought she’d be the prefect person to remake Christina Aguilera’s 1999 classic “you’re hot but I’m not gonna f*ck you unless I’m feeling it” anthem “Genie In a Bottle,” only minus all the sex.
How does that work?
By setting the song in some magical Game Of Thrones-esque fantasy land and changing most of the lyrics.
Here’s an example:
Christina’s OG lyrics were, “You’re lickin’ your lips / and blowing kisses my way / but that don’t mean / I’m gonna give it away.”
Here’s what Disney made Dove sing:
“You’re making a rainbow / blowing kisses my way / but that don’t mean / I’m going to hear what you say.”
Umm WTF does making a rainbow mean? Is Dove’s boy toy a wizard? Or better yet, is he a leprechaun because even though those boys are short and hairy, a little pot of gold never hurt nobody if you get our jist.
Watch Dove’s hopelessly G-reated version below, and then treat yourself by watching Christina’s OG bad girl production to watch how it’s really done.