Donald Trump Would Like Russia to Hack Hillary Clinton

Just when you thought Donald Trump’s fuckboy antics couldn’t get worse, Mr. “I swear my dick is bigger than my hands make it look” has to go and ask the Russians if they could maybe take some time out of their busy day and hack Hillary Clinton’s e-mail, pretty, pretty please with sugar on top.

“Russia, if you’re listening,” Donald Trump said during a press conference today, “I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 emails that are missing. I think you will probably be mightily rewarded by our press.”

Of course, the Donald is referring to the fact that yesterday researchers concluded that Russian intelligence agencies were most likely responsible for the recent Democratic National Convention hacks, which revealed that DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz was actively trying to squash Bernie’s chances at winning the nomination.

Although, to be completely honest, Donald Trump probably didn’t even need to ask the Russians for help because WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange promised on Sunday that his site will soon be publishing documents that contain “enough evidence” for the Department of Justice to indict Hillary Clinton and make Donald Trump’s day.

Also, there’s a small chance that Hillary Clinton may have inadvertently given the Russians the password to her Blackberry, so there’s really nothing to hack.

Whatever happens, we can tell you this: it’s not good news for Democrats.

And please, if your grandma ever decides she wants to run for president, for the love of God, teach her how technology works.

[H/T NY Times]

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