Demi Lovato Says No White Boy Could Ever Be As Passionate As Wilmer Valderrama

ICYMI, Demi Lovato is really into Wilmer Valderrama, her apparently incredibly loving boyfriend of six years.

According to an interview she just did with Latina Magazine, Wilmer is such a satisfying boyfriend that all the lovin she’s gotten from white boys legit cannot compare to Wilmer’s passion — and she’s pretty sure, but not 100% confident, it’s because he’s Latino.

When I dated white guys, it wasn’t as passionate as my relationship with Wilmer. Maybe that’s just Wilmer. But I do believe that Latin people are just more expressive, more passionate with their emotions.”

As far as stereotypes go, this is one of the chiller ones Demi could reenforce to a global audience, but honestly, it’s probably just Wilmer and his allegedly 8+ inch long penis.

While our first impulse on hearing a guy brag he’s packing heat like that is to roll our eyes and laugh hysterically, Wilmer having a rurl big dick is pretty much the only explanation we can think of for the impressive list of A/B-list celebrities Wilmer has had the pleasure of dating and then being a total dick to.

Do you have time for a quick history lesson?

Ever since Wilmer Valderrama got his big break as the lovable foreign exchange student Fez on That 70s Show, he’s always had a girlfriend.

Not that we’re shaming Valderrama or anything, but before he got together with Demi in 2010, he dated Jennifer Love Hewitt, Mandy Moore, Lindsay Lohan, Ashlee Simpson, Minka Kelly and Avril Lavigne.

And after their relationships ended, Wilmer was a dick to almost every single one of them in an infamous interview with Howard Stern.

In said interview he bragged about taking Mandy Moore’s virginity, revealing that “the sex with Mandy was good, but it wasn’t like warm apple pie,” whatever that means. He also told Howard that Ashlee Simpson was a “screamer,” Lindsay Lohan was a “big fan of waxing” and that on a scale of 1 to 10, Jennifer Love Hewitt was an 8 in bed. 

So basically what we’re saying is that it’s not that he’s a Latino Demi, it’s just because your boyfriend is really into using that dick he was blessed with.

But don’t worry, so long as you two never break up, you two should be just fine.

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