6 celebs who made me feel better about my big nose
Do you have a big nose?
I have a…well, I have a… present nose. I wouldn’t call it a schnoz, but I wouldn’t call it demure either.
Maybe you know exactly the kind of nose I’m talking about: the borderline nose.
Most days it’s a whatever thing to have, but as soon as you stare at it for longer than 30 seconds it becomes incredibly easy to understand why nose jobs are one of the 10 most common plastic surgery procedures in America.
Not that there’s anything wrong with getting a nose job, you know, so long as you’re an adult and you’ve really thought it over, but if life is all about learning to make do with the lemons you’ve been dealt, isn’t it better to come to terms with the nose your mama gave you and figure out how to rock it?
Or better yet, isn’t it better to just forget about it entirely because it’s just a nose and no matter what some idiot says, having a big one doesn’t mean you can’t have the career you want or fuck ridiculously hot men whenever you want?
I think so, and so do these six prominent-nosed celebrities.
1. Gisele Bundchen
Gisele is considered one of the most gorgeous women in the world, she’s topped the list of the highest paid models in the world for the past 9 years and before she married her yummy husband Tom, she dated somebody you’ve definitely thought about sexually before, Leonardo DiCaprio.
But before she accomplished all that, a bunch of assholes told her she should get a nose job.
“I remember some people telling me my nose was too big or my eyes were too small, that I could never be on a magazine cover,” Gisele told People. “It wasn’t easy to be 14 and hear that kind of criticism. It made me feel insecure.”
However, then she got some good advice from her dad and never cared about those haters again.
“I told my dad, and he said, ‘Next time, tell them, I have a big nose and that comes with a big personality.'”
But look at you now, bb. Look at you now.
2. Meryl Streep
Meryl Street is the most successful actress of our time, maybe ever. Forgetting about all other acting awards, she’s received 19 Academy Award nominations and won three of them. She also has a big nose, not that you’ll ever hear her talk about it.
You rarely hear anyone else talk about it either, since her talent renders her appearance more or less a non-issue. Well, except for this guy in a 1979 edition of Time:
“Meryl Streep could obviously have made it to the screen on looks alone. The camera embraces her …Only a slight bump down the plane of her long, patrician nose redeems her profile from perfection.”
He must have been a real looker himself.
3. Nicki Minaj
You know what Nicki Minaj doesn’t have? Time for people who mistake her makeup for plastic surgery:
“When people see my makeup, they think all types of crazy things that I’m doing to my skin, but it’s makeup. It’s the weirdest thing. They’ll see contouring and think you had surgery on your nose. No. No. No. Look at RuPaul’s Drag Race and you’ll see… you can make your nose look… whatever shape you want it.”
Can we get an amen?
4. Lea Michele
She’s been nominated for a Tony, she was on a hit TV show, and she did it all without listening to something some manager said to her when she was 15.
“When I was 15, my mother and I went to meet a manager who said, ‘You have to get a nose job in order for me to work with you,'” Lea told the Daily News. “My mother would say to me, ‘Barbra Streisand never got a nose job. You’re not getting a nose job.'”
5. Barbra Streisand
Speaking of Barbra Streissand, bitch is a legend.
She’s won two Oscars, 10 Grammys, five Emmys, 11 Golden Globes and one Tony, and we all know what that means, right? She’s one of only 12 artists to have achieved the elusive EGOT.
And she did it all with her real nose.
Streisand is famous for saying, “I arrived in Hollywood without having my nose fixed, my teeth capped, or my name changed. That is very gratifying to me.”
6. Sarah Jessica Parker
People have said a lot of mean things about your girl Carrie Bradshaw, but you know what, her career has treated her just fine.
She’s heard it all and couldn’t give less of a shit.
“There were some not-terribly-veiled conversations,” she’s said. “Anything from as silly as plucking my eyebrows to getting my nose fixed. Nothing that stayed in my brain for very long.”