So You’re Bringing Your Man Home for the Holidays? Good Luck, Babe.
Tis the season to… introduce your situationship to your mom who still calls your ex “sweet boy.” You’ve posted him once (with flash), you’ve defended his job (“he’s freelance creative”), and now you’re dragging him to Thanksgiving in a cable-knit sweater like a sacrificial offering.
Relax, babe — We’ve got you. Whether it’s his first family dinner or your fifth “he’s actually really nice once you get to know him” moment, here’s how to survive Bringing Your Man Home for the Holidays: A Galore Guide to Delusion & Diplomacy.
1. Prep Like You’re Producing a Movie.
@nadiaa9
Your mom is the casting director. Your dad is the network exec. Your siblings are the internet trolls.
Give your man lines.
Teach him how to answer “what do you do?” without mentioning crypto, “self-employment,” or “drop shipping.”
Pro tip: rehearse the “how we met” story in advance. No one wants to hear “technically it was on Raya, but…”
2. Dress Code: Cozy, But Hot.
@coquetteGirl
We’re giving effortlessly festive, not ‘I’m trying to get adopted.’
Your outfit should whisper “I’m successful and unbothered,” not scream “I live at Zara.” Think chunky sweater, gold hoops, and enough gloss to reflect the Christmas lights. A good highlighted with gold is Definity a must.
And your man? Neutral tones. No statement jackets. No cologne stronger than a pine candle (seriously).
3. Have a Safe Word.
@Asyanik
When your aunt asks when you’re getting married or your cousin tries to flirt with him “as a joke,” drop your safe word.
Example: “Wow, love that gravy boat” = time to refill drinks.
“Should we check on dessert?” = time to plot your escape.
4. Control the Narrative.
@kendalljenner
If your family’s nosy, beat them to it.
“Yeah, he’s vegan now, it’s a journey.”
“He’s actually into ceramics!”
“He has a skincare routine—he’s evolved.”
Remember, whoever tells the story first wins.
5. Don’t Let Him Do the Dishes.
@lavishyo
He thinks he’s helping. He’s actually walking into the most dangerous zone in the house — Mom gossip territory.
Once he’s in the kitchen, it’s over. She’ll know everything by dessert.
Keep him busy with a dog, a game, or explaining NFTs to your dad.
6. Have an Exit Plan.
@adanatin
Every hot girl knows when to Irish goodbye.
Blame the weather, a stomach ache, or your need to “finish a deck.”
Disappear like a snowflake before the first family argument.
7. Debrief Accordingly.
When you get home, pour wine and discuss.
Who loved him? Who was sus? Who’s getting blocked?
And if he survived the night and your mom sent him home with leftovers — congratulations, babe. You might actually be in a relationship.
So whether it’s cuffing season, chaos season, or “he’s not my boyfriend but we’re spending the holidays together” season — remember: confidence, charm, and a touch of delusion will get you through anything.
