6 Signs Your Man Might Be Toxic
At the beginning of every delicious new romance, it could be very easy to get lost with your lover. Over time you get used to constantly being in each others company and at first, it is harmless and all part of the honeymoon phase. But some fall under the wicked spell of their lovers and become victims of domestic abuse.
The truth is your lover might be growing obsessed with you, and not in the way you’d like. At first, it can be seem sweet — until it gets bittersweet and dangerous.
If your boo falls under any of these categories, you need to save yourself, girl.
1. He doesn’t believe you when you’re telling the truth.
If your lover begins to question your trust and refuses to believe your word, you’re heading toward rocky waters. Relationships are built on trust, and if your boo can’t simply take your word for it and requires “proof” of what you’re claiming to do, that is BAD.
Eventually, your lover will start to accuse you of being unfaithful. And that will lead to unreasonable jealousy, which will go hand in hand when they prevent you from seeing friends or family or going to work or school.
2. He gets mad over nothing.
It is refreshing to switch roles every once in a while in letting your significant other take control at times, when you’re dominant other times. From the bedroom to where to go out dinner or what movie to watch, it’s nice to not always have to make decisions.
But, if that sense of control begins to bleed through to mundane things like what you wear and who your friends are, something doesn’t smell right. Always remember you are your own person, in charge of your life and how you want to live it. So if your darling gets unreasonably angry when you go out drinking with friends, or treating yourself to some shopping on payday, you need to take a step back and reflect.
3.He is harming you in more ways than one.
Anything that ever feels hurtful in any way is abuse and isn’t always recognized. Emotional or physical, you do NOT under ANY circumstances deserve this type of treatment.
If they begin to humiliate you in front of others just so you can bend to their will, that falls under this category. If they begin destroying your property or things that you care about, that falls under this category. Even calling you hurtful names or emotionally making you feel bad is just as abusive as hitting, punching, slapping, kicking, or biting.
Don’t just wait for things to get critical to seek help. Things can escalate quickly so you wouldn’t want to be in a position in which your lover uses or threatens to use a weapon against you.
4. He makes you feel guilty over his wrongdoings.
The abuser in the relationship tends to be good at manipulating their victims. So if their little outbursts begin to get more frequent, you need to put a stop to that right then and there. If not, your abuser will make you feel like this is the behavior that you deserve.
And after a while, you will begin coming up with excuses for them cause deep down you know this isn’t acceptable. Don’t lie to yourself girl, stay true to yourself and who you are. Be the independent mofo that I know you could be! #poweroftheself
5. He doesn’t ask for permission.
If your lover forces you to have sex or sexual relations against your will, THAT IS NOT OKAY. (Unless you’re into that or its consensual.) Consent is needed for all sexual contact — and even if you gave consent, you’re always allowed to take it back and tell someone to stop if you feel uncomfortable.
There is a fine line where things go from innocence to assault, and you never want to feel your significant other has taken advantage of you. Consent is not a free pass. Just because you said yes last night doesn’t mean it will always be an automatic yes. Stand your ground and stand for yourself: no means no.
6. The cops have gotten involved.
Whenever the cops are involved, it’s not good. Cop involvement means that things have gotten to the point in which excessive force has been brought in to handle the out of control situation you now are in.
The good news is that when police officers arrive to the scene, they have protocols and policies they have to follow to safely remove the victim from the abuser. But needing the cops to help you stay safe from your boyfriend once is already one time too many. Get out of there, girl.