24 Timeless Lessons From The Simple Life

In 2007, the most educational program to ever grace America’s airwaves came into being, influencing a generation of women to grow up to be fabulous, fearless, and bitchy as fuck.

That show was The Simple Life, and its premise was simple: watch two rich socialites, Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie, as they hilariously struggle to be competent in easy, low-paying manual jobs.

Somehow though, even though Paris and Nicole did a horrible job with every task the television producers put in front of them, they still managed to teach their viewers a lot.

Here are 24 timeless and invaluable lessons from The Simple Life vault.

1. There’s a lot of fish in the sea, and most of them are gross af

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2. Sex appeal is a girl’s best friend

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3. It’s always okay to ask for help when you need it.

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4. Never let an opportunity for self-improvement pass you by.

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5. Once you live in LA, you’ll think every other place is a rotting hell hole.

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6. Never settle for anything less than you deserve.

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7. Make up is your friend.

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8. Everything comes back to strippers.

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9. Size matters.

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10. Well-behaved women seldom make history.

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11. It’s always a good time to put a fuckboy in his place.

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12. You don’t need to buy a whip and a ball gag to keep things spicy in the bedroom.

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13. There’s nothing more powerful than a well-aimed crotch shot.

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14. If he’s wearing a visor, he’s gonna be too much of a pussy to make the first move.

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15. Men like talking to girls with big boobs.

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16. You always have to believe in yourself, because the haters are everywhere.

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17. Being a sexy bitch is a full time job.

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18. Actions speak louder than words.

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19. Sometimes less is more.

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20. Cooking is not for everybody.

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21. There’s no excuse for being boring.

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22. Diamonds are a girl’s best friend.

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23. When in doubt, twerk it out.

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24. Shit happens.

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Don’t you feel more educated now?

 


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