What To Do If You Just Ate Recalled Trader Joe’s Food By Accident

Over the last 24 hours, Trader Joe’s grocery store has been expanding upon a list  — originally released May 3 — voluntarily recalling a number of frozen fruit and vegetable products sold in their stores. And I’m pissed because I literally just ate what they’re recalling for dinner, and I’d really like to not get sick and die tonight.

Specifically, I ate their frozen Vegetable Fried Rice, which was added to the list of Trader Joe’s food that’s possibly been contaminated with Listeria monocytogenes, a bacteria that potentially gives the sucker who ate the food, a case of Listeriosis. Other foods on the list include their frozen Chicken Fried Rice, frozen broccoli, peas, beans, and corn.

If I end up getting Listeriosis, my symptoms could a “fever, stiff neck, confusion, loss of balance and convulsions,” according to NPR, at which point, I should “seek medical care.”

TBH, I’m just super pissed because literally while heating up my frozen disease food, I was talking about how awesome Trader Joe’s frozen food is. And now I’m fearing for my life. The good news is that NPR says pregnant women, senior citizens, newborn babies and people with weak immune systems are more susceptible to a Listeria infection, and I’m none of those things. The bad news is that of the eight people who’ve gotten sick so far, two were on the East Coast, and the other six were in California, which is where I am.

But now that I have devoured all of the potentially dangerous food, there isn’t much I can do. If you, like me, subsist on a diet of Trader Joe’s frozen food, and have eaten one of their recalled foods, here’s what you can do:

1. Don’t Freak Out

Partially because I’ve now done that for you, and also because there’s not really anything that can be done once you’ve eaten the recall food. I combed the CDC website, and all they say about prevention has to do with washing your food. For example, one suggestion was to: “Scrub firm produce, such as melons and cucumbers, with a clean produce brush.” Yeah, I’ll still probably never do that.

2. Get Learn’ed

Apparently, all that needs to be done to eliminate the toxic bacteria is some good ol’ cooking. Once the food is heated up to 165 degrees, you’re probably good to go. Once the food is heated up, it’s very rare that anybody without a highly weak immune system would be susceptible to Listeria.

3. Sue Trader Joe’s

I got this idea from Self  Magazine, in an article published last year on food poisoning by recall. “Chances are good that whoever sold you toxic food is going to want to make things right,” Markham Haid wrote. I can get down with that. If you’re gonna be sick from Trader Joe’s frozen food, the next best thing is to be sick and rich, right?

Gimme More POP

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